


And They Were Roommates

by fallingprincess



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:40:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22269547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallingprincess/pseuds/fallingprincess
Summary: After working on a movie together Ben and you become friends with benefits, then roommates. Somewhere along the line you fall in love, but you both suck at talking about feelings. Happy ending :)
Relationships: Ben Hardy/Reader, Ben Hardy/You
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is on tumblr, I posted it there. This is my back-up so to say :)  
> Lots of love! xx

You shook your shoulders while nervously jumping up and down in place and pulled a few funny faces. After yet another deep breath you slid the screen door to your right to step onto the dimly lit balcony. Surrounded by fake potted plants Ben was lying on a queen sized mattress on the ground and stared straight at the giant spotlights hanging from the ceiling above. You let your eyes roam over the big green screens that covered the walls and then faced the man that was now beginning to sit up propped on his elbows.

“I didn’t know you were out here.” you said, your voice a calm and quiet whisper. “I can leave.”

“No.” his icy blue eyes met yours as he scooted to his right to make room for you. “Come here.”

You unsurely stood at the door for a few more seconds before sliding it closed and making your way to the mattress. As gracefully as possible you lowered yourself into a sitting position and slowly leaned back until your head hit the soft material and you could smell Ben’s perfume in the air around you.

Turning your head you shyly watched his profile in awe as you were now only seperated by a couple of inches. “Are you alright?”

“Yes.” he responded, his voice deeper than any ocean could ever be. “I am just nervous is all.” His muscular arms were crossed behind his head as he kept staring upwards into the lights.

You chuckled quietly, scooting a bit closer to his large frame to absorb his warmth. This made him turn towards you, his arms uncrossing and moving to his sides.“ You don’t have to be. You are going to be great.” you whispered into the silence. Not a single sound could be heard except for his slow deep breathing that came and went as his strong chest collapsed and rose.

“I just don’t know if I even believe in myself. So why would anyone else?” He swallowed hard, tears welling up in his eyes, a look of worry stained his face.

You scooted even closer to him, the tips of your noses now only inches apart as you felt his warm breath on your cheeks. You looked him straight in the eyes as you sighed an almost breathless “I believe in you.”

As he moved closer towards you, he glanced from your eyes to your lips and back up. The air became even more electric as you approached his face further, your eyes never leaving the blue in his. As your heart sped up, your breath going in rapid uneven strokes, your nose touched his lightly.

You felt him lean in for the final inch, his eyes closing in the process, a small smile playing on his lips. The anticipation was slowly eating you up alive.

Closing the distance you-

“Cut!”

Holy. Shit.

You jumped and forced yourself to let your head fall backwards facing the lights. This was pure torture.

Your breath still going fast, you glanced to your right. Ben was already looking at you as he smiled his goofy smile and gave you a thumbs up. Bloody. Fucking. Hell.

“That was great.” Mario, the director, explained. “Something is off about the lighting in the end though. Can someone please fix that?”

As multiple people started readjusting spotlights, you closed your eyes, trying to willingly make your heart slow down.

Today marked the eighth day of shooting your newest and first movie. You had filmed a few scenes already, but the first kiss scene between Ben’s and your character had been making you so anxious that you had barely kept your breakfast down that morning.

You had filmed a fair share of kiss scenes for past projects, but something about getting to kiss the handsome British guy next to you made your insides bubble up. You had tried to tell yourself that this was all professional, that you were being absolutely ridiculous about it, but the way he laughed and made sure you were always comfortable just did things for you in ways the other co-actors hadn’t.

“I think we are good.” Mario announced and sat back into his chair. “Can we start from the ‘I believe in you’?”

Following order you scooted your face closer to Ben’s as he did the same. He gave you one of his beautiful smiles and mumbled a shy “Hi.” before positioning himself to almost touch your nose with his.

“Action!”

“I believe in you.” you repeated in a whisper, licking your lips as you observed Ben staring at them with desire in his eyes. You edged even closer to him, your eyes closing in the process as you could already feel his nose against yours, his breath on your lips, his presence all around. You were about to close the distance-

“Cut! What is it with the lighting, guys?”

Bloody. Fucking. Hell.

On Impuls you groaned internally and leaned into the last half of an inch that was still seperating you from the body next to yours to press the lightest kiss on Ben’s lips that only lasted the fracture of a second.

With the realization on what you had just done, your eyes widened in shock as you hurriedly moved backwards. “I am so sorry.” Very, extremely unprofessional.

Too embarrassed to look anywhere but the ceiling and your face a bright red, you could only hear Ben’s deep laughter. “Totally fine.” His beautiful, earth-shattering laughter. “I was really into it, too.”

Your mind and heart running wild, you tried your best to compose yourself. This had never happened before. It also had never felt like absolute and terrible torture before.

“I think we figured it out. One more time, please.” Mario yelled and grounded you after you had been running in a mental circle screaming 'what the fuck’.

Attempting to be a professional you moved back into position and hoped the makeup covered the still present blush on your cheeks.

You couldn’t help but notice the smirk on Ben’s mouth as he visibly tried his hardest not to laugh. Kill. Me. Now.

“Oh shut up, Ben.” you whispered just as Mario called “Action!”

Gaining focus by getting into character, you glanced at Ben’s full lips. “I believe in you.”

Moving closer and closer you were just waiting for Mario’s cut in anticipation, but it never happened.

Instead, Ben’s warm lips were suddenly pressed against yours. First tenderly as if to test the waters, then more forceful and firm when you began moving in synch with him.

You could barely contain a sigh as heat started to radiate through your body, pulsating all the way through your core. Your breath stopped when his movements found a rhythm pressing more and more tongueless kisses onto your lips.

“Cut.” A voice brought you back to reality once more and you scooted backwards on the mattress. Further away from Ben who still hadn’t moved. Instead he was just lying back lazily, his eyes glassy as he scanned your reaction. Right. You were an actress. And you were acting. You had kind of forgotten about that for the past minute.

“Something is missing. This doesn’t feel authentic.”

You were not sure what Mario meant as this had felt very very authentic to you, but you still nodded along.

The director looked at the two of you. “Do you know what I mean? What’s missing?”

You waited for Ben to reply something, but he just kept staring straight at you, a look on his face as if he was undressing you in his mind.

You shrugged and nodded again, your mind still all foggy. It didn’t help that you could still smell his perfume all around you, that you could almost still taste his lips. “Let me try something.” you finally said and leaned back down.

Ben raised an eyebrow sceptically to which you just smiled.

“Just go with it, okay Ben?”

He nodded slowly and bit his bottom lip. You were pretty sure something died in you at that moment.

“Okay then.” Mario shrugged at the camera man. “Go ahead.”

Once the cameras were rolling again, you repeated your line, moved closer and allowed Ben to place his lips on yours once again, butterflies erupting in your stomach.

This time, however, you took the lead away from him. Trying to tell yourself that this was absolutely you being a great actress and not at all what your needy self told you to do, you pushed against him as your hand dug into his hip so it wouldn’t be seen on camera. In surprise he slightly opened his mouth, which allowed you to gently slide your tongue next to his. It didn’t even take a second before he responded, his tongue now forcefully moving along with yours, his lips finding a faster pace.

You used the moment he stopped for air to take his bottom lip between your teeth and gently pulled at it.

The sound that escaped his mouth from the back of his throat was something between a moan and a whimper and did something to your body that made your insides scream and run wild. All you wanted to do was to rip his clothes off at this point.

His large hand slid up your thigh and under your dress as he kept pressing his lips harder into you while his tongue still toyed with yours.

You were pretty sure you could hear your heart beating outside of your chest.

“Cut!” Mario yelled, waving his assistant to his side. “I loved it. That was great. Let’s call it a night everybody.”

You turned your head away from Ben to stare at the ceiling, your body still so unsteady you didn’t know if you could get up right now. Your heart was still racing and your breath came staggering and way too fast. Ignoring the wetness that had collected between your legs, you tried to watch Ben from the corner of your eye.

His chest was rising and falling in a steady beat and the look on his face could be described as blissful.

Once he realized you were watching him, he quickly turned his head to meet your eyes straight on and smiled. “That was great.”

Not trusting your own voice in that moment, all you could do was nod.


	2. Chapter 2

“Ben!” you yelled a lot louder than anticipated when you spotted the blonde across the room sitting on one of the luxurious black leather couches that lined the walls of the spacious hall the Oscars after party was held at.

As you clumsily made your way over to him, you grabbed another one of those pink fuzzy drinks the waiters were carrying around on silver trays. You were not sure what was in them, but they tasted incredible.

“Ben!” you repeated when you had reached your destination and steadied yourself on the side of the couch by his arm.

His blue eyes landed on you as he chuckled. “Are you drunk?”

Finally finding balance on your high heels, you attempted to gracefully seat yourself on the arm rest next to him. “I might be slightly intoxicated.” you explained as you took another sip of whatever was in the glass in your hand. So bubbly. “Has anyone ever told you that you have very pretty eyes, Ben?”

His chuckle turned into a full blown grin while he shook his head. “How many of these have you had?”

You glanced at the champagne glass in your hand, swishing the pink liquid inside as if you were at a wine tasting. “I don’t really know.”

He gently patted your knee and emptied his own glass before placing it on the coffee table in front of him. “Alright. Let’s get you some water.”

You didn’t necessarily want any water, but who could ever resist his deep British voice and beautiful godlike face?

You observed him trying to get up, steadying himself on your shoulder as he swayed slightly to the side.

This time you were the one giggling as you held onto his muscular arm dressed in a white button down. “Could it be, Ben, that you are just as drunk as me?”

“I might be slightly intoxicated.” he repeated your earlier words with a laugh. Just now you noticed his minimal slur in words. “It’s just so boring in here.” he whisper yelled over the lounge music.

You giggled again, surveying the room. The hall was enormous. Everybody seemed to know everybody and stood around talking on the floor that was lit in a pink light.

The Oscars had been quite okay. Your movie had even won one, but as soon as you had arrived here, you had wanted to leave. The little snack things did not still your hunger and so many people had tried to make small talk with you that your inner introvert had just decided to get very drunk. That must have been about two hours ago. Since then you had aimlessly wandered around in your tight black dress, avoiding conversation all together, and endlessly refilled your supply of pink fuzzy drinks.

“Oh my god I know. I am so bored.” you agreed with Ben who was still standing in front you. Part of his weight was still being held by your shoulder. You didn’t mind his strong and warm hands on your bare skin the slightest bit.

It was great seeing him. Ever since the movie had wrapped you had barely seen or talked to him as he was already off to a new project. There had been texting and the occasional phone call in the middle of the night, but going from basically living door to door to never seeing him had made you miss him a lot.

You gulped down the last bit of liquid and attempted to place the glass on the coffee table, your blurry vision making the task a little more difficult.

After a successful completion of the mission, you shifted your attention back to Ben. Since you were seated and he was standing you had to strain your neck to look up at him. Realizing how that made you even dizzier, you got up, throwing both you and Ben off balance.

At the last second you held on to his broad shoulders and you both stood up straight without making a scene. Wearing three inch heels and alcohol really did not mix well. You were not sure what Ben’s excuse was. Boredom apparently. You also were not sure who the drunker one was. You were however sure you made the next offer. That one was all on you.

“So, Ben. How about you follow me and we find an empty bathroom stall together?”

His eyes searched for yours in the dimly lit room. “Why? Do you need help with anything?”

You couldn’t suppress a giggle as you sighed. “Oh Ben, you are so innocent and pure.”

“What?” Confusion. “Oh.” Realization. “OH!” Contemplation. “I mean…” Decision. “Lead the way.”

You interlaced your fingers with his. A small gesture that in this moment held so much potential.

Trying your hardest not to fall, you maneuvered the two of you through the crowd in a straight line towards the long hallway that held two rows of individual single bathrooms on either side of the walls.

Here the music was a lot less loud and you avoided looking at yourself in the floor length mirrors as you probably looked absolutely terrible.

However, Ben didn’t seem to care much as he pulled you inside the first empty bathroom after checking the hallway for other people.

With locking the door an awkward silence fell between the two of you.

Still holding Ben’s hand you examined the room. Gold details lined the spacious bathroom. A faucet and counter top made from some sort of black rock were to your right. Thankfully the light in here was just as bad as it had been outside. You didn’t know if your eyes could have handled it any differently.

“So.” you stated as you let go off his hand and leaned against the counter top. Somehow the room had started spinning.

“So.” Ben repeated and ran a hand through his short hair, his eyes glassy from all the alcohol.

“This is where you either leave or kiss me, Ben.” you explained with a laugh and ran a finger tip from his belt up to his chest to tap the tip of his nose.

An electric tension filled the air all of the sudden. You had kissed Ben more times than you could count. But every single time there were people watching, telling you what to do while cameras were pointed straight at your faces. This was a lot different. There were no spotlights, no cameras, and no other people. This was strictly Ben and you in a small bathroom. Drunk. At the Oscars.

Within a split second Ben had pushed himself off the wall opposite you and made his way over to stand right in front of you. His large hands found the underside of your thighs as he effortlessly lifted you up into a sitting position on the counter top and stepped between your legs.

On instinct your arms slid around his neck and tugged lightly on a strand of dark blond hair making him breathe out visibly.

“Hi.” you whispered, your lips only an inch from his. You could smell the alcohol on his breath, his perfume hanging in the air around him.

“Hi.” he smiled back in a breathlessly right before he finally cut the tension and pressed his lips forcefully against yours.

You were pretty sure he had somehow grown another pair of hands while you hungrily responded to his kiss. One hand on your back, another fisted in your hair, he somehow managed to slide your tight dress further up your thighs to grind into your hips lazily for friction.

Toying with his tongue you got a hold of his bottom lip and bit it harshly. He drowned out the moan that escaped his mouth with another hungry kiss, his hands now both on your legs, as he let them slide under your thighs to hoist you up against his hips. In a swift movement, his lips never leaving yours, he had spun the two of you around, your back now pushed against the cold wall, your entire weight only held up by his body pressed tightly against yours.

Your hands found his hair again, tugging at it forcefully as you sighed into his mouth. “Ben.”

His hips responded by grinding into you. “God, never stop saying my name, (Y/N).” he moaned with a blissful look in his eyes.

You hungrily kissed along his jaw and neck, leaving love bites along the way while whispering his name over and over again.

His hard on pressed further into you as his hands landed on your ass, sliding up the fabric of your dress.

Eagerly, your hands found his belt buckle as your lips met his once again.  
Surprised by how well drunk you managed to open his belt and zipper, you giggled into his mouth and let a hand run up the inside of his thigh.

He moaned against your neck as he bit your skin definitely leaving marks for the world to see.

You were about to let your hand slide into his pants, when he grabbed your wrist pulling it upwards to hold it against the wall above your head.

Hungrily you tried using your other hand while you sucked messy kisses into his collar bones.

After your second hand got positioned above your head, you were now being completely helpless in front of him, you looked at him in confusion. His lips were stained red from your lip stick, his neck covered in various blue and red tones.

“We need to slow down.” he breathed heavily, is hungry eyes filled with want and desire.

“Why?”

“I don’t have a condom.” he stated and let your arms drop to your sides.

Still only held up by his body and the wall you ground your hips into his once more making him gasp for air. “That’s a problem.”

“Well, I didn’t think I would be having sex at the Oscars, sorry.” he explained with a light laugh, his mouth already back on your neck completing the painting of love bites he had started on earlier.

“Ben.” you sighed as he sucked on a spot below your ear, his body pushing into you even harder.

You eagerly pulled his head back up to yours, pressing wanting open-mouth kisses to his lips.

His hands back to massaging your ass, you finally slipped your fingers into the waist band of his underwear and got a hold of his member.

Groaning into your shoulder loudly as you ran your hand along his length, he bit down forcefully to stop himself from making too much noise, making you suck in a breath of air in pleasurable pain.

“If you don’t stop now, I can’t promise you to be responsible anymore.” he panted, his face screaming want and longing while his actions did the exact opposite and lowered you down to the floor.

The sudden loss of contact sobered you up, and you pulled down your dress and spun to look at yourself in the mirror.

Easily put: you looked thoroughly fucked. Your hair was a mess, your neck covered in more bruises than skin at this point.

Attempting to clean yourself up, you wiped away some smudged mascara and tucked a few strands of hair that had fallen out of place behind your ears.

With an amused smile on your lips you noticed Ben watching you in the mirror. His back leaned against the wall you had been pushed against just a minute earlier and he slowly zipped up his pants. His breath was still going fast, his eyes glassy and filled with pure lust. You had to forcefully stop yourself from jumping his bones again. You didn’t know you could want and need a person so much. The alcohol was probably amplifying the feeling even more.

“Stop looking at me like that.” you whispered as you turned around to face him.

“Like what?” he questioned, his voice as deep and rough as a fucking ocean.

“Like you want to eat me up.”

Within a split second he had you pushed against the door, his mouth already attacking your jaw again. “If you knew what I want to do with you, (Y/N).”

Your panties completely soaked at this point, you fought against your instincts as you pushed him off of you. “We need to get out of here.”

“There is a bunch of cabs waiting in front of the venue.” He looked you up and down, his eyes already undressing you.

“I’ll meet you there. I need to find my coat.” you nodded and grabbed your purse that had been aimlessly thrown onto the ground earlier.

“God, you’re so hot.” Ben mumbled and bit his lips as he pushed against you once more, his mouth pressed onto yours with force, his tongue finding yours immediately.

“Okay.” you sighed in between kisses. “Forget the coat. Let’s go.”

–

“Can you take us to a gas station?” Ben asked the driver after you had closed the door and buckled up. Safety first.

Your mind was running wild as his hand kept running up and down your thigh. You wanted nothing more than to be all over him right now. To crawl into his lap until he forgot how to say anything but your name. But you had sobered up enough to know that there was always a chance of paparazzi taking pictures. It had already been risky leaving the venue together, both covered in bruises and bites.

A few minutes later the cab came to a halt next to a 7/11 and you spent the time that Ben disappeared into the store to fix your makeup and hair using a mirror and brush you had found in your purse.

With a victorious smile Ben held up a small bag once he had reentered the cab. “Where is the next fancy hotel?” he asked the cab driver with a blush on his cheek.

The older man grinned, not oblivious to what was going on, and just nodded.

“We don’t need anything fancy, Ben.” you whispered and giggled as he kissed your neck quickly.

“Maybe you don’t.” he laughed and sat back on his side of the backseat. “But I want to eat my Kit Kat in a fancy hotel bed.”

“Oh my god, you got snacks? I am starving!” you exclaimed and grabbed the brown bag from him.

Unwrapping a Snickers bar, you took a bite, a happy sigh leaving your lips. “You are my hero, Ben.”

“Because I bought candy?”

“Because you are just always so thoughtful, Ben.” you explained, your words only slightly slurred. You just now remembered that you had been drinking on an empty stomach all night, which explained a lot.

“Is this alright?” The cab driver interrupted your banter and you looked out the window to see a fancy looking hotel front.

“It’s so pretty.” you giggled. “Looks like the one from hotel Zack and Cody!”

You waited patiently as Ben paid the driver and then led you to the hotel lobby.

“I will go pee really quickly while you check in, okay?” you smiled and took off your heels as your feet thanked you, now placed softly on the carpet.

A minute later you were washing your hands staring at yourself and the aftermath of your make-out session with Ben on your neck and chest. This was actually happening. Your mind still foggy, you ran a finger along the love bites and smiled as you remembered who had left them there. There was no way back now, not that you would have wanted one.

“All set?” Ben asked as you stepped outside, holding up a key card. “Third floor.”

The elevator ride was nerve-wrecking to say the least. You wanted to reach out to him, but you didn’t know what was allowed and what not since security cameras were still watching you. The anticipation was killing you.

Once door 318 was locked behind you, neither of you spent another second checking out the large room as Ben had already hoisted you back up and thrown you on the bed, loosening his bow tie in the process.

You slapped his hands away, pulling him down on top of you while unbuttoning his shirt hastily. “Leave the bow tie on.” you whispered as you pushed the white fabric of his shirt off his shoulders and let your hands roam over his bare hot chest.

“God, you’re killing me, (Y/N).” his deep voice murmured as he aggressively ripped your soaked panties down your thighs.

You moaned as the cold air met your heat. “Please tell me there are condoms in your candy bag.” you laughed as you sat up slightly.

He smirked as he got up and carelessly threw his button down to the side. Opening his belt and pants once again, he reached into the brown bag, fishing out the small package.

Grinning in triumph, you watched in awe as he slid the condom on, not even bothering to take off his pants or your dress, and positioned himself over you and between your legs. “Ready?”

You nodded while biting your lip, a wave of pleasure and anxiety flushing through you as he slowly pressed into you with a breathless groan.

–

(sorry that’s all the smut you are getting)

–

The first rays of sunshine were already shining through the huge windows that overlooked a small adjacent park. Ben and you were lying on the large bed surrounded by messy white sheets and pillows; clothes were discarded everywhere. You were resting against the dark wooden headboard, his naked body draped over yours. His fingers were mindlessly running circles along your hip bones, his bare chest pressed against the soft skin of your stomach.

You stretched your arms over your head tiredly. “Are you sure we are all out?” you grinned, sending a wink towards Ben, who bit your bare thigh in response.

“My mistake for thinking a package of three condoms would be enough for one night.” he laughed, now drawing circles along your naked thighs.

In your opinion the past few hours had been invested perfectly. Ben had pleasured you in ways you hadn’t known were possible. You felt used in all the right ways, your entire body aching in a good way.

You let your finger run over a particularly blue bite mark on his shoulder as you yawned again. You had gotten a total of one hour of sleep in the past day. Absolutely worth it, though.

“God, I am so hungry.” he suddenly stated out of the blue.

The floor littered with candy and condom wrappers, you grabbed the menu off the night stand, lazily looking through it.

“Croissants sound good right now.” you laughed and let your free hand run through his messy hair. “And coffee.”

He extended an arm towards you. “Give me the phone. I know you hate making phone calls.” You kissed the back of his hand that was still hanging in the air waiting and handed him the phone from the nightstand.

After he had ordered room service you stretched once more. “I think I will take a shower. Want to join me?”

He groaned as you tugged on a strand of his hair before getting up. “Don’t tempt me, (Y/N).”

He slapped your ass playfully as you stood up and then rolled himself back into the sheets, a yawn on his lips. He looked absolutely stunning in that moment. The rays of sunshine hitting him in all the right ways.

You smiled at him dreamingly before picking up your panties, his boxer shorts, and his button down and made your way to the bathroom.

In the mirror you examined your body covered in bruises and you shook your head. You were lucky you didn’t have any shoots scheduled in the next few weeks.

Ben woke up when you exited the bathroom all clean and at least a little fresher.

“That’s my shirt.” he commented with a smirk as he opened one eye and threw a pillow at you just as a knock sounded on the door.

You accepted the tray and closed the door before throwing Ben’s pants at his naked motionless frame. “Up you go.”

You waited for him to be decent and opened the windows towards the balcony. The sun hitting your skin felt nice combined with the light morning breeze.

As you seated yourself, you waited patiently for Ben to set down the tray on the table between you. You grabbed your sunglasses off of it and smiled at him. “Like I said. Thoughtful.”

He pulled a funny face at you and went straight for his coffee exhaling a long and relaxed breath. “This is actually perfect.” he smiled and slid his own sunglasses on top of his nose. “Except for that major hangover maybe. I used to be able to drink whatever I want. What happened?”

“Welcome to the grown-up world, Ben.” you laughed as you took a bite of your croissant.

“You are younger than me!” he protested, digging through his pockets to find a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. After lighting his own he offered you the set.  
After initial hesitation you accepted. You normally never smoked, but after a night like this you just couldn’t resist. You could basically still feel his length pumping into you over and over again, his strong hands and hungry lips all over your body, his deep whispers and moans in your ears. Just the thought of it made you horny all over again.

Taking a drag from your cigarette you inhaled the smoke and relaxed, watching Ben carefully from the corner of your eye. Not sure how to approach the subject.

“Ben, I don’t want you to think that I want to date you or anything after last night. This was purely sexual for me.”

He choked on his coffee and set the cup back onto the tray while coughing. “(Y/N).” he laughed. “I’m glad. You being in London, me filming in Los Angeles. I don’t do long distance. Not that you aren’t great. You are great. Just..”

You nodded, understanding. Exhaling smoke you watched the park just coming to life underneath you; the first runners already doing their rounds. “So if chance arises we could repeat this little adventure?”

You saw him smirk from the side, bringing his cup to his slightly swollen lips once more. “If we don’t have to get absolutely wasted again. My body hates me so much right now.”

You lowered your sunglasses to wink at him, then bit your lip. “I guess that can be arranged.”


	3. Chapter 3

“You haven’t been here in forever!” Ellen exclaimed as you seated yourself on the couch next to her armchair. She was right. The last time you had been on her show had been last year after your successful Netflix show had aired its last season.

“I know!” you answered with a smile, before reaching out to take a sip of water. “I have missed you.”

“I’m honored.” the short haired woman in front of you joked back and grabbed her note cards from the coffee table between the two of you.

You had never been particularly fond of interviews, but you couldn’t deny that you actually enjoyed Ellen’s show as the atmosphere was always relaxed and felt less like a performance and more like two friends hanging out together gossiping.

“You were in a new movie.” Ellen read off her cards. “That won an Oscar. Congratulation on that first of all.”

“Thank you, thank you. It’s been a great experience really. I have never shot a movie before, being part of something so big was incredible.” You had said these lines on the promo tour so many times, you didn’t even know if you still meant them. Probably. Just the after the movie part was not your favorite. You enjoyed acting and were proud of your role, however being in the public eye was something you couldn’t quite get used to.

“Now before we start talking about your upcoming projects, we have to address something a bit different.” Ellen began as a picture of Ben Hardy popped up behind the two of you on the big screens.

You rolled your eyes with a smirk. You knew this was going to be asked. Because in the past three weeks of interview after interview you had been asked this question. Every. Single. Time.

“It is rumored that Ben and you are the newest couple on the celebrity it couple list. Do you want to talk about that?”

It was true. After playing lovers in the movie, the rumors just wouldn’t stop. During filming, you and Ben had hit it off almost instantly. You shared the same kind of humor and both enjoyed each other’s company. However, “Ben and I are not dating.” you repeated for the probably tenth time alone this week. It was a Thursday. “Sorry to disappoint.”

“You know, it’s not that I don’t believe you, but actually we have collected a few pictures here. Let’s just go through them together.” Ellen laughed as the screen switched to a photograph of Ben and you having coffee together. The two of you were sitting on a bench during lunch break while on set. Ben was still in costume even. He was evidently telling a story using both hands as you sat to his left, your legs crossed and laughing along with him.

“Ben is great. But we really are just friends.” You tried not to sound annoyed. But you were just so damn tired of it. Maybe today would be the day you’d finally drop the bomb.

Ben and you had talked about it on the phone a few days earlier. He was back in London working on his new project already.

“Just tell them the truth then. I really don’t care, (Y/N).” he had said after you had complained once again about the reporters not shutting up about the subject.

And maybe you would. Maybe today you finally would.

“Okay.” Ellen continued with a small chuckle. “What about this one then?”

You turned around in your seat to get a better look at yet another picture of you and Ben. You remembered that night. You had gone to a Queen concert together. In the captured moment the both of you were facing the stage lights, his muscular arms tightly wrapped around you from behind. You were leaning against his back as the two of you were screamed the lyrics along with everyone else. It had been a great night. But of course paparazzi just had to take pictures.

“Like I said, we are just really good friends.” you repeated once again. The smile on your face hopefully didn’t look as forced as it actually was. You were tired. So, so tired.

“Alright. Last one and I promise we will move on after that.”

You nodded as you looked at the screen once more. You couldn’t hide the small blush that spread across your face as you tried not to smirk. You also remembered that moment. It was the morning after the Oscar’s. Ben and you were sitting on the balcony of your hotel room, croissants and coffee on the table between you. Both of you were wearing sunglasses that had been necessary after that hangover. You had your feet pulled up under you as you watched Ben, a cigarette lazingly hanging from his fingers as you lit your own. It looked like a picture taken straight from an earlier century. Just in high quality.

“So Ben is wearing the pants he wore to the Oscar’s.” Ellen began with a knowing smile. “but he is topless. Because you are actually wearing his shirt.”

You watched as a picture of Ben’s outfit popped up. “You did some detective work here.” you laughed and took another sip of water.

The picture had gone viral so fast, the two of you had not even finished your breakfast yet when your best friend had called you. Still, you liked the picture. You had also liked the night quite a lot, but that was a different story.

“But you are just friends.” Ellen repeated your statement from before in a mocking tone.

Yes, you agreed. Today was the day.

You sat up straighter, raising an eyebrow in a knowing smile. “We are just good friends that like to have great sex sometimes.”

And with this the crowd erupted in noise.


	4. Chapter 4

It had all started about four months ago.

You had been sitting in front your laptop, a cup of coffee warming your hands as you saw the sun slowly set through your window. It had turned winter very suddenly in Scotland and the sun had started disappearing before the clock had even hit five in the evening every day.

On the other side of the Skype call, Ben had just woken up in the beautiful, sunny and warm California weather, his hair still a mess. His naked chest had been showing off his newest tattoo as he had pulled the covers tighter around himself to make the sun go away for another while.

“That’s great news! I am happy for you, really!” he had smiled, his voice all raspy and rough rom sleeping. You had messaged him as soon as you had hung up the phone with your agent, and Ben’s immediate reaction had surprised you.

“I know. So am I.” you had said while propping the laptop up higher on your legs that were leaning against your grandma’s couch. You had been visiting them in Edinburgh for the past few weeks. “And I am glad they renewed the show. It’s just that I hate living in these shitty tiny apartments that they give us. They make me all depressed.”

You had taken a sip from your black coffee, your fingers playing mindlessly with a strand of hair, and watched as he yhad awned, stretching his muscular arms above his head, before cuddling deeper into his pillow and smiling.

That is when it had all started. When Ben had asked the question that had changed things.

“Why don’t you just move into my apartment? It’s in London and I am not living there right now.”

**

You had agreed back then, because you absolutely hated the studio’s apartments. And only until you had found something new for yourself. But once you had bought the first real plant for Ben’s spacious apartment and had basically transferred your entire wardrobe into his closet, you had stopped telling yourself that this was only temporary and moved on. So what? You were living in Ben’s apartment. You were friends. This is what friends did, right?

**

You heard a noise from the kitchen when you woke up, someone loudly rummaging through cupboards and the fridge, the coffee machine being turned on.

Swinging your legs off the bed you walked straight to the source of the noise, leaning against the kitchen’s door frame to rub sleep from your eyes and allow your body to get used to the now vertical position.

With an amused smile on your lips you watched Ben who went through different drawers with a confused expression on his face, before clearing your throat.

“(Y/N)!” Ben exclaimed giddily, a grin spreading on his lips. He quickly walked towards you to lift you up and spin you around in a hug, before gently placing you back to the floor and giving you a once over. “Is that my shirt?”

You looked down at your outfit, not sure on what you had even thrown on after the night shoot you had come home from only about four hours ago. It had been a long night on set. You scanned your short cheerleading shorts, fuzzy socks and in fact one of Ben’s large shirts that you had found in his closet when you had made more space for your own clothing. “I guess so.” You laughed as you tied your messy hair into a bun in a swift motion to look at least the tiniest bit presentable after only a few hours of sleep. “I didn’t know you’d be coming home. I would have cleaned or at least pretended to.”

“Where are the cups?” Ben kept questioning instead of responding and watched intently as you walked over to the cupboard above the coffee machine.

“It’s more efficient that way.” you explained as you poured two cups, filling sugar into one of them, before handing it to the blonde in front of you.

“Alright.” He leaned against the counter top. “Last question. Did you rearrange my living room furniture? Because I almost walked against that coffee table when I came in.”

You glanced behind you to look at the couch you and your best friend had moved around about two months ago to make room for your daily Pilates workouts. Okay, weekly somewhat workouts. The space was mostly used for having spontaneous dance parties by yourself after shoots. Not that Ben had to know that. “There is more space now.” you mumbled, allowing the hot beverage in your hands to wake you up a little more with every sip. “Sorry.”

“No, I like it.” he grinned as he started walking around the room, looking at pictures of him and you and your families and friends that you had hung up on the walls.

Just now you noticed the big suitcase standing next to the front door. You had been too distracted by Ben’s sudden appearance to realize that he was actually here and not just on your laptop screen. He was wearing a simple white shirt and black skinny jeans; his dark brown leather jacket was aimlessly thrown over the suitcase and did all sorts of things for your imagination. It had been a while since you had last seen him in person. Almost four months, when you had visited him on set in Los Angeles while on the promo tour. He still looked as great as ever.

“How long are you staying?” you asked as you cuddled up into the big arm chair in the corner of the living room area, tugging a blanket around your bare legs.

“About three weeks I think.” He threw himself onto the couch and used the remote control on the coffee table to turn up the heating. “It’s so cold in here.”

“Welcome to Britain, California boy.” You laughed at his outraged face.

“Excuse you; I am British all the way through. I just did not remember it being so cold is all. It’s bloody April.”

You nervously shifted your cup from one hand to the other as you watched him watch you. “Do you want me to go sleep in a hotel while you are here? This is your apartment after all.”

His amused laugh not only filled the room, but something in your chest as well. You really had missed him. “Judging by what it looks like, you live here more than me right now. I think we will make do. It’s not like we have never shared a bed before, right?” His wink made you want to do bad things to him. But those had to wait. You didn’t even know if they were still on the table. For all you knew, he could have a girlfriend in LA by now you didn’t yet know off. You kind of had avoided talking about this subject all together for the last months.

“Right.” You confirmed, your stomach twisted in knots. “We can be roommates for a few weeks. Gives us time to catch up, as friends do.” You stopped yourself short. What were you even trying to say?

“Well, since that is settled.” He stretched once more and got up, placing his coffee cup in the sink. “I had a long flight, I think I will take a shower if you don’t have to use the bathroom right now, roomie.” He laughed again, his face a literal ray of sunshine, and waited for you to answer.

“No, go ahead. I am having a night shoot today, so I think I will go back to bed for a bit.” Finally you had found actual words that made sense.

You stayed seated to finish your coffee, your mind running a hundred miles an hour. He was here. And you were here. And you were both living here. It had been correct when he had stated that you had shared a bed multiple times before. But that had been different. It was in hotels and airbnbs, in his flat in LA. But never here. In your apartment, well his apartment. It never had felt as real as it did in this moment.

A minute later he stepped back out of the bathroom, only dressed in boxer shorts as he was apparently about to step into the shower. “Where did the towels go?”

You eyed him up and down, forcing yourself to meet his eyes instead of his naked chest and prominent bulge, before getting up and following him into the little bathroom. You opened the cupboard below the sink that you could reach easier than the one above the washing machine, and handed a towel to him.

Sticking out his tongue as a thank you, he removed the last piece of clothing still on his body and stepped into the shower.

In a hurry you left the bathroom and shut the door behind you, before releasing a breath you hadn’t known you were holding.

This was going to be torture. And fun. But definitely mostly torture.


	5. Chapter 5

The first week of living with Ben had been tolerable. Since you were still shooting nights and he was out most of the day for work, it still felt like you were living by yourself. You slept alone, ate alone, and just barely ran into Ben when he got home and you were about to leave. Things were alright.

**

It was the second week of living with Ben when everything began to go downhill rather quickly.

“Ben, can you please hurry up? I need to shower, too!” you yelled again, an annoyed tone in your voice. He had been in the shower for over ten minutes, using up all the hot water. There was no way he was that dirty and you had stuff to do. Ever since you had started shooting during the day again and Ben and you had to share everything, you found yourself more annoyed with him every single day. It wasn’t even anything in particular. Just the little things slowly adding up.

“Just come in then.” Ben stated from behind the shower curtain.

You were sitting on the floor curled next to the heater, mindlessly scrolling through instagram, waiting oh so patiently for him to finally be done. “Can’t.”

“We have showered together many times, (Y/N). I think you can.” He seemed just as annoyed as you were.

He was right. But back then it had been different. It had been after sex, after a long day of work, or just generally in other contextual ways. “I’m on my period, Ben. I have to clean out my menstrual cup in there.” you answered and groaned out of frustration again.

“So that means…” Ben cleared his throat.

“Lots of blood, Ben.” you explained, pressing your tongue against the inside of your cheek as you rolled your eyes. Men.

The shower suddenly turned off and a naked Ben emerged from behind the curtain. “There you go.” he snapped with a fake smile plastered across his face. Not even bothering to dry off, he grabbed a towel and left the bathroom, still naked, little droplets of water running down his perfect body. He had to know what he was doing to you. He just had to. Dear god.

**

The third week of living with Ben was when you finally exploded. You were about to make coffee, when you realized that the cupboard above the machine was completely empty. Glancing to the pile of dishes Ben had promised to do the night before, you took a deep breath and closed your eyes. This was it. You couldn’t do this anymore.

Storming into the bedroom, you stared at him angrily as he was about to put on a shirt, his hair still wet from a previous shower.

“Everything alright?” he asked with a smile while zipping up his jeans. Any other time you might have been distracted by it. But not right now.

“Nothing is alright, Ben. You said you would do the dishes yesterday.” you uttered, annoyance showing in your voice and face.

“Oh yeah, must have forgotten. Sorry.” You were so mad, even his attempted green puppy eyes didn’t do it for you this time.

“Not sorry, Ben. I am tolerating it all. You spending forever in the shower and never ever fucking cleaning it. And I tolerate that I am the one buying groceries, and cleaning the kitchen, since I am living here for free. But honestly, you can’t just do one fucking little thing I ask you to do? Why is that? Do you think you are so entitled you don’t have to do anything? Did your mummy never teach you how? Or is it because I am woman and you think it is my job to do these things for you?”

“Woah, (Y/N), slow down.” he tried to calm you down, but you were so done with it. With him.

“No, Ben. I won’t slow down.” You had gotten more and more angry throughout your entire speech. “You said three weeks. It’s been three weeks. Not to be mean, but when are you going back to LA?”

“Yeah about that.” He nervously rubbed the back of his neck with his palm, his eyes darting through the room to avoid looking at you directly. “I’m kind of not.”

“What?” You were done. So, so done. “When were you planning on telling me that?” When he did not answer, you just kept asking. Frustration was building up in you. Your pulse and breathing speeding up, but not in a good way. “How long have you known?”

“I have kind of always known?” he bit his bottom lip, anxiety filling his face as he walked backwards to bring the bed in between the two of you for safety reasons.

“Right.” you mumbled, pressing your lips against another to try to steady your breathing. “Right.” You nodded once, and then slowly left the room to make your way to the balcony that the living room area led to. On the way you grabbed Ben’s cigarette pack, lighting one before you were even fully outside.

Leaning against the railing you inhaled, allowing the nicotine to calm you down. You hadn’t smoked in months. Ben just pissed you off so much. Who did he think he was? Making you all horny and angry at the same fucking time.

“Why did you lie to me?” you asked and raised an eyebrow at Ben, who had appeared in the door frame.

“I knew you’d leave. I missed you. I didn’t want you to leave.” His voice was so quiet and shy you could barely hear it over the traffic below you.

“And?”

“And I shouldn’t have lied to you.” His eyes finally found yours. Such beautiful eyes.

“And?” You put the cigarette out in the ashtray, suddenly not really into it anymore, and crossed your arms in front of you. The cold morning air was getting to you.

“And I will from now on do stuff. I swear it’s not because you are a woman or I am entitled. I’ve just… I don’t even know. I’m sorry. I’ll get better. I promise.”

You didn’t answer, instead you bit around on your bottom lip, watching him as he was still leaning against the door frame, his broad shoulders almost filling it out completely.

He waited patiently for you to respond, actual regret shimmering in his eyes. You finally sighed. “It’s alright, Ben. But I think I should look for my own place.”

“Why?” He stepped towards you, and then retreated backwards again afraid to scare you off.

“Just…this would have been okay for a few weeks. But it’s just weird, you know? Living like we are fucking dating, but as friends. And it’s not that I don’t enjoy being friends with you, and I love this apartment. But maybe I shouldn’t be living with you. It’s crowded and you are so annoying sometimes an you make me so freaking mad and it certainly doesn’t help that I wanted to rip off your clothes the first day you walked through that fucking front door.”

At your last words, which had accidentally slipped out, his eyes drilled themselves into you, a low groan escaping his lips. “Please do.” he whispered almost breathlessly. “But not out here.”

He stepped inside, motioning for you to follow him. And you did. Of course you fucking did.

Once the door was closed and the curtain drawn, he wasted not another second to wrap you up in his arms, his large hands pressed against the small of your back, his lips forced on you in a hungry kiss.

Willingly you jumped up, your legs wrapping around his hips and he effortlessly carried the two of you to the bedroom, his lips never leaving yours.

“I didn’t know you still wanted this.” you whispered while you opened his pants to slip a hand inside, your mouth attached to his neck the way he liked it. Your blood was still boiling. This time the reason was different, though.

He laughed into a moan and ripped off his shirt. “Are you serious? I kept walking around naked just to get a reaction from you.”

“I just thought you were being weird.” you chuckled as you placed a line of kisses along his muscular chest and stomach to meet the waistline of his jeans. Waiting for consent you pulled them down when he nodded.

All of the sudden, he grabbed your neck, bringing your face upwards to meet your eyes and connect your lips once more. “Please stay here?”

You contemplated the situation and ultimately nodded insecurely. “If you do the fucking dishes.”

He eagerly kissed your neck and collar bones and finally your lips. “I will. I promise.”

You bit your bottom lip and twisted your long hair into a ponytail to get it out of the way.

Watching you with a blissful look in his eyes, Ben pulled you into another kiss, before allowing you to go down on him once more. He suddenly laughed. “I don’t have to do them right now, though, do I?”


	6. Chapter 6

“When were you going to tell me you got cast in ‘We are the champions’?” Ben stormed into the living room, where you were cuddled up into a blanket watching a Netflix show. He had just gotten off the phone with his agent apparently.

‘We are the champions’ was the sequel to ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’, a movie about the band Queen, Ben had played a major role in it two years ago. You had been unsure when your agent had sent you the papers with the words ‘You’d be great for it, you have that innocent devil face’ written on top of it. Nevertheless, you had gone to the audition and only two weeks later actually signed the contract.

“Because we both know I got that part mainly because our friends with benefits relationship will make for great publicity, Ben.” you explained calmly, never looking away from the TV. You had come to terms with that fact pretty fast. But you were not complaining. It would be great on your CV anyway. You were going to play Heidi, a German woman in the 1970’s that was according to Roger Taylor himself ‘the only woman that John and I ever fought over’. Basically she was John’s first, then turned into Roger’s. Apparently the producers wanted to use her to show a softer and more emotional side of Roger, instead of rolling out his sex god image once again.

“Well, I think it’s great and I wish you would have told me.” Ben simply stated, pouting just slightly, before cuddling up under the blanket with you.

You pressed a quick kiss to his cheek and snuggled into his shoulder. “I will next time, I promise.”

**

And this is how you ended up at the opening party one month later. The table read was planned to begin the next day and today was a chance for the old ones to catch up and the new ones to get to know everyone. You were the latter. Weirdly enough, you had never met Ben’s friends in person. You had seen them on facetime and heard them talking on the phone, but somehow with both of your work schedules so messed up and you not even being his girlfriend or anything, it had just never happened.

“You are (Y/N).” Lucy smiled, looking stunning as always, when you arrived with Ben. “I watched you on Netflix. Little witch. I loved it.”

You smiled back a genuine smile, already easing into your new surroundings. “Thanks! God, you are gorgeous in person.”

“Stop flirting with my girlfriend and flirt with your boyfriend instead.” A voice laughed sarcastically from the side as a hand extended towards you. “I’m Rami.”

“I’m (Y/N).”

“And she is not my girlfriend.” Ben cut in out of nowhere, engulfing Rami and Lucy in a hug.

“Thanks Ben.” you smiled, not so genuine anymore.

After a few more rounds of introduction, everyone being way too sweet to you, you ended up sitting in between Gwilym and Joe on a large leather couch. You were playing with the beer bottle in your hand as you listened to them catch up, all the while watching Ben. He looked incredibly great in his white button down and dark washed jeans, and you could have eaten him up just there. Every now and then he would glance in your direction, his smile widening just the tiniest bit, just for you to see.

“So, (Y/N).” Lucy suddenly said and all attention turned towards her sitting on Rami’s lap on an armchair nearby. “I just have to ask. You and Ben…”

“Are friends.” You finished for her as you always did and smiled. It wasn’t a lie. Ben and you were friends. Great, great friends.

“Oh, come on.” Joe groaned from your left, just as Gwilym laughed. “We will be at their wedding and they are still going to say that, I swear.”

“We are just friends, guys.” Ben repeated, his eyes never leaving yours. Asking. Longing.

“But you live together. And you sleep together. And you always hang out together.” Joe slowly stated, counting each argument on one finger.

“Sorry, but that is the definition of being a couple.” Rami introduced himself to the conversation and winked at Ben.

You watched Ben rub his palms on his thighs; he seemed aggravated to say the least. You were weirdly into it. “Well people that date have feelings for one another and we don’t.”

You nodded, although you were not sure on whether you agreed with Ben or not. You had weirdly dissociated, almost listening to the entire conversation in third person.

“So you wouldn’t care if someone else kissed her?” Joe asked, his eyebrows raised daringly.

Ben stared him down, his green eyes shining bright in anger, before leaning back on his chair. “Of course I wouldn’t. She can do whatever she wants.”

Were they even still aware you were here? And part of this group?

“I’ll do it.” Gwilym raised his hand, a smirk on his lips. “I’ll kiss her.” Yup, you were pretty sure they had forgotten you were an actual person sitting right here.

Ben just waved his hand in an indifferent manner and crossed his muscular arms in front of his body. “Sure, go ahead.”

Nope. Absolutely nope.

You basically jumped up, grabbing Ben’s arm and pulled him upwards to be on eyelevel with you. “Ben, can I talk to you in private for a second?” you murmured into his ear and he followed you out the door and along a hallway to a row of bathrooms.

*

„Ben, I am not kissing him just so you can prove a fucking point.“ you began as soon as the door was closed behind the two of you. The stall suddenly seemed small, the walls pressing into you from every side. You felt like you had no room to breathe.

“Oh, come on, it’s not that big of a deal! It’s just a kiss!” he protested, his hands on his hips.

“You go kiss him then!” you yelled back, trying to keep your voice low to not alert other people. Not everyone had to know you were also fighting like a couple.

“That’s not even up for debate!” Why was he so fucking stubborn? “(Y/N), you are blowing this totally out of proportion.” He could have just smiled a sarcastic ‘I’d be so jealous’ and moved on with it. But no. “It’s just a kiss, we kiss all the time. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“Oh.” You felt something in your chest fall apart and crumble onto the floor like a pile of dirt. Suddenly anger flared up in you and you straightened your back. Fucking idiot. “Alright then.”

You stormed out of the little bathroom and straight back into the conference room, your heart beating more rapidly than it should. Stupid, fucking idiot.

Trying your hardest not to think rationally at this point, you interrupted Gwilym’s talk with Joe by straddling his lap on the couch, both of your thighs being pressed to the outsides of his thighs. You were thankful you had opted for jeans that night.

You threw a glance around your shoulder to make sure Ben had followed and was watching your show, and let your hands slide around Gwilym’s neck.

The man under you gulped as he watched you nervously, his body shifting slightly to adjust to your weight, his warm hands lingering lightly on your thighs. All eyes had settled on you at this point.

“Hi.” You smiled your brightest smile and then slowly lowered your lips onto his.

The first kiss was sweet and tender, testing the waters, nothing more than a sweet innocent peck. The second kiss was firmer, his hands gliding around your back, his nails digging into the small of your back as he pressed you closer and closer, wanting more. The third kiss was forceful, your hands digging into the hair at the back of his neck, a low moan escaping his lips as his tongue found yours to toy with. You tried to let yourself ease into it, but you just couldn’t relax. It was a great kiss, undeniably. But all you could think about was the man still leaning in the door frame, hopefully still watching you with his stupid beautiful green eyes. Fuck Ben. Fuck him. Honestly.

After a while you slowly retreated from Gwilym’s lips, pecking them one more time before letting yourself fall next to him into a sitting position.

Slightly heated you crossed your legs and picked up your beer bottle, pretending like nothing had happened. Taking a sip of beer, you met Ben’s green eyes hammering themselves into you.

With a smirk playing on your lips you rose and walked up to him, his eyes never leaving yours. Once you stood in front of him, you reached into his back pocket to steal his cigarette pack and lighter. “What’s the matter, Ben?” you whispered into his ear as you made your way past him to the smoker’s lounge. You couldn’t even tell what had possessed you in that moment, but it sure felt nice to have the upper hand in your weird game for once. You bit your bottom lip, your eyes as innocent as they could be. “It was just a kiss, we kiss all the time. It doesn’t mean anything, right?”


	7. Chapter 7

“What about this one?” you asked and came to a hold next to one of the cage-style openings in the wall.

Ben turned up his nose. “It’s white. It needs to be cleaned all the time. Cats hate being cleaned.”

“Fine.” you sighed and kept strolling along next to him. Your hands were touching every now and then for the fracture of a second, his pinky finger almost interlacing with yours. But you couldn’t. You were in public.

“Ben.” you finally spoke what has been bothering you ever since you had made the decision about two weeks ago on set. “Is this taking it too far?”

Ben checked your surroundings to see if you had any spectators, before stepping closer to you and eyed you questioningly from above. “Let me get this straight. You think living together and sleeping in the same bed is not taking it too far, but adopting a cat is?”

You shook your head and protested. “We aren’t living together. I am living with you.”

Ben stared at you in confusion, taking a step backwards to lean against one of the cold white walls of the animal shelter (Adopt, don’t shop, guys). “Your name is on my mail box. You chose the fucking color of the kitchen walls, (Y/N). We live together!” He basically yelled the last few words, a dog barked down the hallway in response.

You released the deep breath you had been holding for weeks now. It was time. “Ben, what the fuck are we even doing?” You didn’t mean at the shelter. You meant in general. In life. Together. Or maybe not.

“What do you mean?”

You tried not to meet his eyes, too scared the beautiful green would distract you too much as usual. “I have been living with- We have been living together for over half a year now, and I know we aren’t dating, but Ben, we are dating.”

“We are not dating, (Y/N).” He wanted to turn around, but you were faster and grabbed the side of his upper arm, forcing him to stay. You knew he hated talking, especially about his feelings. And so did you. But this had to happen eventually. And somehow all the cute animals around you made you feel more relaxed and less alone in this.

“Ben, you went to my Mum’s birthday dinner. Without me!” You had had to work that night, shooting a scene with Joe.

Ben didn’t answer. Instead he let a hand ruffle through his grown out hair. Over and over. A nervous habit he had picked up. He was clearly uncomfortable. But you couldn’t care about that now.

“I don’t mind not labeling this, Ben. I just want to know where we stand. If we are even in the same fucking place.”

He continued staring at you, his lips bitten red. “I like you, I really do. I just don’t want to be in a relationship with you.”

Your voice was nothing more than a whimper. “Okay.” You forced a smile and swallowed down tears. You knew this would be a possible outcome. And that was alright. Now you had to live with it. This was better than living with not knowing. With just living the moment. Right? Right. So right.

“But it’s not because I don’t want to be in a relationship with you. I just don’t want the drama surrounding it, you know?” His hand reached out to grasp yours, dropping it immediately after remembering where you were.

“I really don’t know, to be honest.” Your eyes were desperately searching for his now, although hoping he couldn’t see the hurt in them.

“Well, right now the media and fans are all ‘Ben and (Y/N) were both seen in there and there’ and ‘Ten reasons why Ben and (Y/N) are lying to us about their relationship status’. And once we actually confirm it, everything changes to ‘Ben seen out with whoever, trouble in paradise?’ and ‘Are Ben and (Y/N) close to a break-up?’. I just don’t want that for us. Because this is great. And I don’t want this to be ruined.”

You were baffled by his honesty. And you appreciated it, you wholeheartedly and very much did. Because he hated it, you could see it in his eyes and body language.

“So we are dating, but we are not dating?” you summed it up slowly, your head trying to wrap around his hushed words. You had never thought about it this way. However, Ben had always been the more receiving part of your arrangement when it came to the media. He had always taken the blow for you.

Ben nodded, this time not caring about anyone seeing and pressed a quick kiss to your mouth. Just long enough to leave his taste on your lips.

“Are we exclusive then?” you asked. If you were having this talk, you were having all of it, so you only had to do it once. Because you also hated this.

“I can only speak for myself, but I haven’t been with anyone but you since that night at the Oscar’s last year.” He laughed quietly. “I should ask you that, though. You had your tongue down Gwilym’s throat last month.”

Your mouth fell open, completely speechless, the memory playing in your head. “You practically forced me to do that!” you finally argued when you found your voice again.

“I did not!”

“Yeah, you did. You and your stupid jealousy.” you snapped back, a smile playing on your lips that matched his.

“I wasn’t jealous!”

“Sure you were!”

“Fine, I was a bit maybe.” He frowned. “Did you like it? The kiss?”

You turned around, continuing your way along the animal cages. “It was quite alright.” You grinned, sending him an innocent look over your shoulder.

“Was he better than me?” Ben kept pressing as he followed you, now seriousness plastered all over his face.

You spun again, your hands on your hips in a mocking gesture. “I am not having that conversation with you, Ben!”

“Well, I am just wondering if you would rather be with him than with me.” He caught up with you, walking you backwards until you were pressed against the cold wall, one hand braced above your head to support his weight against the concrete.

Your breath stuck in your throat you barely managed to whisper a “I’m literally here about to adopt a pet with you, what do you think, Ben?”

He was about to answer when he seemed to get distracted by something behind your shoulder. You turned to find out what he was looking at and your eyes met two green orbs staring straight at you and into your soul.

“I like this one.” Ben suddenly smiled, pushing himself off the wall to walk closer to the bars separating the two of you from the cat. It was all black, only the top of his head slightly brighter than the rest of his fur.

“It kind of looks like you.” you chuckled and poked Ben’s side.

“Well maybe we should call him ‘Handsome’ then.” Ben winked, placing a hand against the bars for the cat to smell.

“In that case we should call him ‘Idiot’.” you grinned back with laughter, still leaning into Ben’s side.

“That’s not a very nice thing to say to your not-boyfriend.”

You threw him a kiss right as a voice interrupted your banter.

“I see you have found a favorite.” The woman working at the shelter approached you, clipboard in hand. “His name is Roger.”

You couldn’t suppress a laugh and had to muffle your giggle with your hand, as Ben simply grinned and nodded, interlacing your free hand with his. “We’ll take him.”


	8. Chapter 8

“I have a brilliant idea!” Dexter, the director of the newest Queen movie, interrupted your break as he stormed into the lounge area that most crew and cast members were scattered in. It had been a long Thursday of filming for all of you and you could feel the tiredness weighing down in the entire room. Not one person was standing upright, half of the cast had nodded off somewhere.

You were sitting on the floor with your legs crossed scrolling through instagram to keep yourself awake. Your back was comfortably leaning against Ben’s calves who was sitting on the couch behind you eating. How did he manage to eat constantly and still look like that? Life was unfair.

“You, you and you.” Dexter pointed at you, Ben and lastly Joe, excitement still ringing in his voice. “Follow me to the green room.” You wouldn’t have admitted to it, but your internal groan could have woken up the entire room at this moment.

*

A few minutes later you were standing in between Ben and Joe in front of a giant green screen. Amelia, the make-up artist, was pulling strands of your temporary perm in place and applied some more shiny lipstick as the director finally began to explain.

“I had this great idea for a clip to put in the official trailer that perfectly sums up the whole love triangle situation.”

You and the two boys next to you exchanged a meaningful ‘What the fuck’ glance.

“So we will have you standing just like that.” Dexter explained then shook his head. “No, Ben go stand to her left and Joe to her right. Better that way.” He crossed his arms and nodded to himself. “What will happen is this: (Y/N), you will kiss Joe like all sweet and innocent, because that is how things were between John and Heidi. And then Ben you pull her away somehow and go straight into making out, full passion and lust Roger style. Got it?”

You nodded unsurely and turned to Ben, who just stared straight ahead into nothingness.

You had kissed Joe multiple times on set now, but somehow this felt weird and different. Almost uncomfortable even.

“Are you guys okay with this?” Joe asked lowly while Dexter spoke to the light and sound crew.

“I think I know what he means.” you nodded and bit your bottom lip, before remembering all the glittery lipstick.Gross.

“Okay.” This time Joe looked at Ben who had been awfully quiet throughout everything, just silently continuing to eat his apple. “I don’t want you to feel weird, because I am kissing your girlfriend right in front of you.” In that moment it clicked. Why this was so weird. Joe was right. Ben had somehow always excluded himself from kissing scenes between Heidi and John as well as possible. Conveniently taking breaks or getting something in that time. You had just never noticed that pattern until now.

“No it’s alright. Don’t worry about it. We are actors and getting paid to do this.” Ben smiled, though you weren’t sure if it was genuine. You never really knew with him. He actually was a great actor after all.

You looked up as you noticed Ben throwing Joe a questioning glance above your head. “What?”

Joe grinned brightly, his eyes quickly going back and forth between Ben and you. “You didn’t deny it. The girlfriend part.”

You couldn’t suppress a chuckle and leaned back against Ben’s large frame. His arms instinctively wrapped around your shoulders from behind.

“Am I your girlfriend, Ben?” you giggled sarcastically and turned around slightly to look up at him. “You could have told me.”

Ben pressed his lips together to stop himself from laughing and gave a quick peck to your temple. “I will tell you next time.”

No you were the one that couldn’t hold back laughter as you playfully hit the side of his thigh. “You better.”

Still beaming, Joe’s smile kept spreading and it seemed as if it was about to break his face in half. “Rami owes me money.”

Ben fake pouted in shock. “You bet on us?”

“Of course, Ben. Said you’d admit it before filming was all done. Rami said after filming, but before the premiere. I just know you so well.” Joe laughed as he placed his hands overdramatically over his heart. “I could just feel our bromance falling apart.”

Ben reached his arms out towards his friend, loudly laughing along with him. “You know you will always be my number one, Joe.”

The laughter you erupted in came to a halt, when Dexter returned and seated himself in his chair. “Are you guys good?”

You quickly glanced between Joe and Ben and nodded. Your heart was still beating a little more rapidly from Ben calling you his girlfriend for the first time.

“Alright. The first take we’ll just try it out and then fix things, sounds good?”

After action was called, you positioned yourself, now standing in front of Joe, your back towards Ben. You fixed your flowy flower dress and quickly got on the tip of your toes. Smiling, you pressed soft feathery kisses onto Joe’s lips, as he lightly rested his hands on your hips and just went with the tender and slow rhythm you had built.

“Ben.” Dexter gave the cue. “Go for it.”

A large hand slung around your wrist and pulled you backwards, making you spin. You practically fell into Ben’s arms, his body engulfing you instantly. Your arms sliding around his neck, you dug your fingers into his wig and allowed him to press an open-mouthed kiss on your lips. You tried your hardest not to giggle as his tongue played with yours overly passionate and completely unrealistically, but you failed miserably. The whole situation just felt absolutely absurd. You just couldn’t get into it properly. You were way too giddy and hyped for it after the conversation with Joe and from being awake for far too long. Ben appeared to feel the same way as he let go off you to hide a laugh behind his hand.

“Cut!” Dexter yelled, pointing a finger at Ben and you. “You two. What are you doing? Where is the heat? The lust? The longing? I’ve seen you do way better than that. Come on. Take a minute, figure it out.”

Still giggling like an idiot, you smoothed your dress out once again and attempted to compose yourself. “I’m gonna get a drink.” you finally said and excused yourself towards the back of the room, filling a cup with steaming coffee to wake you up. Ben made your brain all foggy, you needed to concentrate. After all this was a professional setting. Your school girl crush on your incredibly hot roommate was highly in the way of that right now.

You were just getting into talking shit about yourself in your never ending monologue called brain, when an arm suddenly wrapped around your waist from behind. At the wrong height.

“Joe, what the fuck do you think you are going?” you murmured quietly, trying to wiggle out of his embrace.

“I’m riling up Ben. I want to go home. I haven’t slept in like twenty-two hours. Just go along with it. Please.” He had whispered the last word directly into your ear, making the hair at the back of your neck rise involuntarily.

You glanced over at your boyfriend – apparently. His eyes met yours, a questioning look on his face, however a giddy joyful smile was still present on his face.

A yawn escaped your lips and you leaned your head back against Joe’s chest with an annoyed groan. “Fine. But don’t overdo it. I have to go home with him later.”

Joe chuckled, now making eye contact with Ben as he ran his finger lightly upwards from your hip to your collar bone. You felt the stubble of his chin slowly scratch against your neck, before his voice was an inch away from your ear once again.

“Pretend like I said something funny.” he whispered, his voice pure seduction.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes and giggle. This was ridiculous. And you were so so tired.

“Very good. Let’s see if I can make you blush.” he kept whispering, pressing his lips very lightly right below your ear. “I bet you look really great without that dress. I must admit I am kind of jealous of Ben.”

Your eyes widened in shock as you felt your cheeks glowing. That was too much. Way too much. “Joe, you can’t say that.”

Joe let go off you, raised an eyebrow and grabbed a cookie from the tray next to you. “Sorry. It worked, though.”

You glanced back at Ben, who had watched the whole scene, his smile had faded from his lips. You were not sure if you had ever seen that look on his eyes. Oh wait, you had. At the opening party two months ago, when you had done the embarrassing act of kissing Gwilym for whatever reason. He had worn that same expression then. You knew that look. Ben was jealous. And very pissed.

*

Back in position, you kissed Joe again the same way as before, his hands the lightest weight on your hip bones. What changed came afterwards. Ben spun you around aggressively, his eyes sparking in anger as he violently pressed his lip against yours. You gasped at his sudden aggression and with it gave him the chance to further engulf you in his arms, his tongue hardly pressing against yours before biting your lip. You had to admit that this did things for you. You raked your nails down his back, a groan escaping from his mouth in the process. His hands found your ass, squeezing, wanting, controlling. You could have done this forever.

But unfortunately you didn’t.

“Cut!” Dexter rose from his chair, clapping his hands together. “Loved it. Better than I imagined. Thank you, guys. You can go home, I’ll see you tomorrow. Or today, I guess.”

You spun to look up at Joe who was grinning smugly like the idiot he was.

Ben examined the two of you carefully, before he released a defeated breath. “You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”

You just shrugged, a smirk playing on your lips and Ben hit the back of Joe’s head. “I officially hate you. Bromance and girlfriend privileges revoked.” His green eyes met yours as he laughed. “Let’s go home.”


	9. Chapter 9

„Oh, come on.“ You kept cussing under your breath as you sat on the floor next to the couch digging through the bags you had thrown there carelessly two days ago. You had spent the weekend at your parents’ house and unpacking was just no fun, so you had simply opted to not doing that.

“What’s wrong?” Ben asked as he entered the living room area seemingly in a rush.

You groaned again, giving up on your mission and pushed yourself up. “Nothing. I wanted to order something online, but I must have left my credit card at my parents’ house when I ordered food.” You rolled your eyes at your own stupidity, running a hand through your unbrushed hair. You had an off day. Well deserved obviously.

Without much thought Ben pulled his wallet from his back pocket, opened it and handed you his card. “Take mine. I don’t need it today.”

Accepting the piece of plastic insecurely, you weighed it in your hand and met his green eyes. “This is your credit card. You trust me with your credit card.”

At this Ben just shrugged, a slight smirk playing around the corners of his lips. “I guess I do.” He made another step forward, quickly pressing his lips to yours. “I’d love to overanalyze this. But I am running late once again and they are going to kill me at some point. I’ll see you tonight, yea?”

You nodded and threw yourself back on the couch, your laptop propped back on your thighs, still weighing the card in your hand, slowly running a finger over the edges in thought. “Don’t let them kill you.” you smiled and watched him pull his hoodie over his messy long hair. You kind of liked it better that way.

He threw you another breathtaking grin and opened the door. “I will try. Gotta go. I love you.”

And then the door fell shut.

And your mouth fell open as you motionlessly stared at the closed front door. What. The. Fuck. While your brain still attempted to comprehend what had just happened, a key turned in the lock. Your heart automatically began speeding up like crazy, your lungs just now realizing they had forgotten to do their job for a while. You took a deep breath in, panic rising in you. What. The actual. Fuck.

The door opened and Ben stepped inside, an equally panicked look on his face as you imagined you were wearing. He didn’t bother closing the door and just stood there like a forgotten umbrella in the corner. “I know what I said.” he then began breathlessly with a flush spread across his cheeks, his eyes drumming into yours as he bit down on his bottom lip. “And we are going to talk about it tonight. But I really, really can’t be late again. I am so so sorry.”

You nodded, unsure if you could form any words at this second, your heart beating in your throat.

Still staring at him he just uttered another “I am so sorry.” and then the door fell shut behind him once again and stayed that way.

You couldn’t tear your eyes away from the dark wood for a while, your hands shaking like crazy. This is not how that was supposed to go. This is not a bomb you drop between two busy seconds. This was serious. This was very very serious.

Still shaky you placed your laptop next to you and got up to pace through the living room. Every cell in your body was filled with anxiety. Making your rounds around the couch you tried to contemplate on how to handle the situation. Had Ben actually meant it? Or was it an accidental slip? Had he said out of habit like you did to your mum? But then why had he been so serious and panicked about it? Did he actually love you? And more importantly, did you actually love him back? Admittedly, you hadn’t really put any thought into it. Ben and you had been so casually dating that things just flew effortlessly. You hadn’t thought it would come to this. So intense and vulnerable and open. This was different. This was new.

You spent the next few hours trying to keep yourself busy. You cleaned the entire apartment, went grocery shopping, took the probably longest shower of your life and even baked cookies just to pass the time. You needed something to do with your still shaky hands and Netflix just didn’t do it as your concentration was pretty much out the window for the remainder of the day.

When you finally ran out of things to do, you just sat there. And you waited. Unsure of what was to come. Nervous about what was going to happen. Excited about all the possibilities.

But Ben never came home that night.

And when you woke up the next morning, you found yourself still alone in bed.

Instead, you found him sleeping on the couch reeking of cigarettes and alcohol, still wearing his jeans and hoodie from the previous day.

Your mind completely blank and unable to feel anything you got ready, made him a cup of coffee the way he liked it, and placed it next to two aspirin on the coffee table.

And then you left.

When you returned a few hours later all you found was a note sticking to the fridge that read ‘At my parents’ .

And you kept yourself busy, drowning out the noise in your heart and brain. Not thinking. Just breathing through it. Living on as the ghost version of yourself. Simply going through the motions.

And when Ben came back two days later in the middle of the night, he just laid down next to you, pulling you close to his warm body and pressing a kiss to your shoulder blade.

The next morning he made you breakfast and you just continued life as if nothing had ever happened.

And you never talked about it again. Because although you both were great with your mouths, talking was not one of the skills included.

**

It took seventeen days. Seventeen long and excruciating days of awkward dinners and tension filled breakfasts. Seventeen days of being roommates, but not lovers. Seventeen days of frustration and silence. And you were so so extremely done with it.

Opening and closing instagram for the probably sixth time in the past five minutes, you got up from the bed you had been lying on and groaned.

Determinedly you made your way to the living room where Ben was cuddled into the couch studying his script. It was a Sunday and you both had found nothing better to do. So you both opted to stay in, casually avoiding the other as best as possible. And you were so tired of it.

“Hey Ben.” you began, anxiously playing with the phone in your hands. Before he had a chance to respond you just kept going. This had to come out now or never. “I love you, too.” Then you just stood there, waiting for his reaction.

He never lifted his eyes off his script, but you could see how he was trying hard not to let a smile spread on his face. “Alright.” He simply replied, his eyes fixated straight on the paper in front of him.

“Alright.” you repeated in a mumble and made your way back to bed, opening instagram once again. Had it been a mistake? Possibly. But you were glad it was out in the open now. Whatever happened now happened. It was not in your power anymore.

It didn’t take long for the door to open. You didn’t bother looking, since it was probably just Ben getting something like a sweatshirt.

But then the mattress shifted and your phone was ripped from your hands and discarded to the side. Within a second he had you flipped over, his large frame towering directly over you in plank position. Without another word his lips had found yours and you moaned into the sensation. Seventeen days.

Your left hand interlaced with his, your right pulling tightly on his hair while his fingers drew circles under your shirt.

“We suck at this feelings thing, don’t we?” you asked in between heated kisses, your neck already bruised from his mouth, his hair a mess.

“We do.” he agreed and motioned for you to lift your hips so he could take your shorts off. “But at least we are good at other things.”

You watched in awe as he kissed down your chest and stomach, leaving a trail of light bites along the way that made your body squirm in all the right ways.

“But Ben.” you stated a little anxiously before he could reach the waistline of your underwear and make you forget your own name. “I meant what I said.”

He crawled back up to you, his towering warmth engulfing your entire body, and pressed passion-filled kisses to your lips. “I meant it, too.”


	10. Chapter 10

“I have prepared a little game.“ Ellen grinned from ear to ear and started digging for something under her armchair.

‘We are the champions’ had been wrapped and was about to premier next month. Because of this the entire cast was currently on a two week promo tour through North America. Since today was a very busy day, two TV interviews being filmed at the same time, you guys had been split up into two teams. This left you sitting on Ellen’s couch with Joe to your left and Ben on the other side of the beige leather furthest away from you to suppress the constantly present dating rumors. This was purely about the movie. Ellen had been told about this beforehand. No questions asked. Thankfully.

“Oh, I love games!” you smiled excitedly and spun the paddle-like thing in your hands. It had a red “I HAVE” painted on one side and a green “I HAVE NOT” on the other. You already knew what was about to come. And you loved it.

“I’m assuming you all know this game. I’m reading off a sentence and if you have done it you hold up this side, and if not you hold up that side. Are we all sure on the rules?”

You all nodded in unison.

The first questions were rather innocent. Have you ever stolen anything? You and Ben put no, while Joe exclaimed a loud “It was an accident!” Had you ever been aroused while shooting an intimate scene? Ben’s “It’s hard not to sometimes.” summed it up pretty perfectly.

It was the third question that sparked your interest.

“Never have I ever kissed anyone from the We are the Champions cast while not being on set.” Ellen read off and you rolled your eyes with a smile spread on your lips.

You spun your paddle to I HAVE, before hitting Ben’s hand that he had extended to high five you over Joe’s head. Your fling hadn’t been a secret for over a year now, which obviously still did not stop the crowd from cheering loudly.

You turned to look at Joe’s answer expecting to read the red script, when your eyes widened in surprise. “You have? Whom?”

Joe just smiled smugly. “That wasn’t the question. It just said if.”

Looking over at Ben, you saw his knowing smirk. “Oh my god, you know? Tell me!”

Making the locking his lips with a key sign he shook his head with laughter, Ellen following your banter with a wide grin.

“I’m sensing some trouble in ‘not-dating’ paradise.” your host joked as you glared at Ben and Joe, both smiling like little kids with a secret, as the crowd erupted in cheer and screams once again. 

**

“You need to tell me who Joe kissed. It is driving me absolutely nuts.” You let yourself fall onto Ben’s hotel bed and watched as he brushed his teeth, only a towel slung around his hips. It did turn you on vehemently, but there were more important things at hand right now.

Weirdly enough, the two of you did in fact not share a hotel room. Somehow you had both agreed that it would make things too official for your liking. This however did not change the fact that you spent more time in Ben’s room than your own, especially at night. Which you were grateful for. 

You waited patiently for Ben to be done with his morning routine, mindlessly scrolling through instagram on his phone, liking a fan edit every now and then.

“I’m not telling you anything. That is none of your business, babe.” Ben stated flat out as he pulled a t-shirt over his muscular chest, much to your dismay. He had slimmed down for the role of Roger Taylor once again, but his toned abs were still as prominent and beautiful as ever.

“Please, Ben. I cannot take this.” you begged, making your lip pout heavily on purpose.

He tapped your nose and searched for his phone until he spotted it in your hands and rolled his eyes. “Your puppy eyes aren’t working, love. But nice try.”

Just as he was about to reach for his phone, you scooted backwards to the other side of the bed and hid it behind your back. “Just tell me. I will do all household chores for two weeks once we are home!”

“Four weeks.” he argued as he climbed on top of you, the phone already forgotten.

“Three.”

He came to a halt right above you, his chest pressing against yours. “Four. My last word.”

You groaned in frustration. “Fine. Four weeks. Just fucking tell me.”

He stood up painfully slow, a smirk spread on his face as he began lacing up his converse in absolute peace and relaxation. Then his eyes met yours. “It was me.”

“What?!” you bolted up in a sudden movement.

“Joe kissed me. That’s why I know. And now you know.” Ben’s deep voice showed absolutely no emotion as you searched his face for any sort of clue.

“Nice try, Ben. I’m not buying it.” You handed him his phone in defeat, that he pocketed immediately.

“Then don’t. But since I told you the truth, you need to do the chores either way.”

Holding up your finger motioning for him to wait, you stormed outside, knocking on the door three to the left of Ben’s room.

Not even waiting for him to say a word, you spoke just as Joe had opened the door halfway. “You kissed Ben?”

“I can’t believe you told your girlfriend, Ben!” Joe yelled. You just now noticed the blonde had been following along with you instead of waiting. Why had you expected anything else from him?

“She isn’t my girlfriend.” Ben answered lightly since you could be heard publicly in the volume his best friend had shouted in.

Joe made an angry sound. “That’s not the point.” then closed the door in your face.

You slowly walked back towards Ben’s room and seated yourself on your side of the bed, deep in thought.

“How did that happen?” you finally questioned with a grin on your face when Ben stood in front of you, a laugh on his face.

“I really don’t know. We were drunk and all emotional and it was super weird. And then Gwilym walked in and that made it even weirder.” He buried his face in his hands, his cheeks flushed red.

You closed your eyes, trying to imagine what that could have looked like, and broke out in laughter once again. No way.

“Stop laughing, it’s not that funny!” Ben chuckled as he attacked you to start a tickle fight. He knew how much you hated to be tickled.

“Was it like a peck or like a real kiss?” you kept pressing, giggling like crazy from the fingers Ben ran over your stomach and waist. You tried pushing him away but he was reluctant and much stronger anyway.

He easily pinned up both of your wrists above your head with one hand, the other relentlessly running along your exposed stomach. “It’s none of your business.”

“As your not-girlfriend I think this is part of my business actually. You know, gotta know the competition.” you spit out in between fits of giggles and shrieks, your legs still trying to push his large frame off of you, with no use. This was over when he wanted it to be.

He groaned, his face turning red once again above you. “There might have been some tongue, I don’t really remember. I was really drunk.”

“What?!” you yelled again, finally managing to spin the two of you around so you were straddling his hips. You knew you were only free because he wanted you to be. This however didn’t stop you from counting it as a victory. “I can’t believe I am just hearing about this now!” You pressed a kiss to his cheek, as he allowed you to interlace his fingers with yours over your head. “I need details.”

“Why?” His deep groan sent vibrations and shivers down your body that hit all the right places.

You bit his neck playfully. “I might get real hot and bothered.” you whispered into his ear seductively, the reaction from Ben’s hips bucking upwards almost instantly.

He sighed as his strong fingers let go off yours and strongly dug into your hip bones instead, leaving little bruises. “Fine. I’ll tell you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Joe/Ben kiss is added as a Bonus Feature as the final chapter of this story for anyone interested ;)


	11. Chapter 11

Surprisingly, it was not the sun that was shining straight into your face, but a repetitive buzzing sound that made you wake up from a very weird dream you had had. Opening one eye teasingly, you quickly pulled the blanket back over your face. Too bright. Way too bright. What time was it even? And where the hell were you?

Unsurely whether the buzzing noise even came from somewhere outside of your head or if it was just part of the pounding that was going on deep in your skull, you slowly lowered the blanket and attempted another peak at your surroundings. A hotel room. So far so good. Your eyes fell to your right where you spotted your phone going crazy with vibrations on the nightstand. Source located. The next mission was to turn it off, although your brain could not tell you how to do that in that moment. Everything was really blurry. And spinning. And your head hurt so so much. Why?

“Make it stop.” A voice groaned from your left and just now you noticed a naked, muscular arm draped around your bare waist. Oh no. Oh hell no.

Bracing yourself for anything you took a glance in the direction the arm lead to and breathed out in relief when you recognized Ben’s head buried in one of the white pillows. Thank fucking god. What had happened to you? And why was the sun so bright? And where were you? What the hell had fucking happened?

“I’m trying, babe.” you groaned back, your voice all raspy and dry, and you tried reaching for your phone without actually moving once again.

Not succeeding and the buzzing still having a major party, you finally opted to scooting over as little as possible and grabbing your phone, your head killing you a little bit more with every movement.

“What the fuck is that?” Ben whined all cranky, his voice even deeper than normally, if that was even possible.

You didn’t bother answering as you held the screen close to your face, your eyes still trying to focus on anything in particular. Your head was killing you. Your brain felt as if it was trying to jump straight out of your skull. “It’s the Champions group chat.” you updated Ben and began reading from the top of the maybe fifty messages that kept on coming in as at least five people were typing at the same time.

Ben groaned again, trying to dig himself even deeper into the mattress, using your back as one of the walls to his cave – or grave.

Slowly coming to your senses you sat further up against the headboard, silently inviting Ben to place his head on your lap. A content sigh escaped his lips when we snuggled closer into you and you smiled as you ran your fingers through his messy hair. He looked like absolute shit, but still so freaking beautiful. Only he was able to pull that off.

After finally switching your phone to silent, you kept on scrolling not sure what everyone was referencing to, when you suddenly stopped at the video that everyone was apparently talking about.

And it was bad. Really bad.

“Ben, we fucked up.” you simply said, panic rising in your voice as you shook his shoulders, edging him to stop snoring and to wake up again.

Hearing the anxiety in your voice, he was alert all of the sudden and sat up next to you. You watched him trying to find a fix point while holding his head. “Sorry, babe, everything is spinning. I don’t remember the last time I was this drunk.” He closed his eyes again, going through what you have been through in the past few minutes. Breathing. Focussing. Not throwing up. Not particularly in that order. “What happened? I don’t remember anything.”

You couldn’t say another word as you were just nervously playing with your bottom lip. Instead, you just extended your phone to show him, examining his reaction as he watched the video with an intense stare.

When it had ended, you locked your phone, putting it back on the nightstand, wordlessly.

“This is bad.” Ben finally said, letting himself fall back into the mattress. “Really, really bad.”

“Do you remember anything?” you eyed him questioningly, trying not to get distracted by his bare shoulders and broad chest. God, he was attractive.

“I remember the moment from the video, but other than that. Lots of blanks. You?”

“Same.” You nodded. “So what do we do now?”

**

\- twelve hours earlier –

“You don’t know how much I want you right now.” Ben’s deep voice slurred into your ear after he had downed the shot in his hand.

You were so far gone you weren’t even sure if it was Tequila or Vodka at this point. Something clear though. You also had lost count a while back.

It had all been Joe’s fault anyway, wanting to go out to after party the after party of the wrap party. All his fault. Okay, maybe ordering a few bottles of hard liquor had been Ben’s idea, but anyway. The point was, it was not your fault. You just went along with everyone else. However, everyone else had gone home now and the only people left were Joe, Ben, and you.

At Ben’s words however, the first rose from his chair, steadying himself on the table with both hands, trying his hardest not to knock off the glasses stacked on top of it. “That is my cue to leave lovebirds. Don’t do anything stupid.”

He messily hugged both of you, pressing a sloppy kiss to Ben’s cheek that he afterwards wiped off with the sleeve of his dress shirt and a “Sorry ‘bout that”.

And then Ben and you were alone in the little booth. Without any supervision. All drunk. And horny. You should have known this would be a bad combination from the beginning.

Although it was well past midnight, the club was still crowded with sweaty people dancing and screaming their hearts out. You enjoyed watching it while the room kept spinning around you, the flashing lights almost blinding you but not quite.

With a giggle, you felt Ben’s stubble on your neck, pressing heated kisses to your jaw from beside you.

You leaned your head to the side to give him more access, while contradicting yourself by giggling a slurred “Not here, Ben.”

“Can’t help it.” he whispered in your ear lowly, all hair on your body standing up in the process. His deep voice just did unexplainable things to you. Especially in the state you were in right now. “You turn me on so incredibly much.”

This time you didn’t protest as his lips found your neck, sucking a small hickey in the soft skin right below your ear. His hand moved further up your thigh as a gasp escaped your lips. Oh dear god.

You tried to compose yourself and scooted to your right, further away from the man that made your brain even foggier than the alcohol. Then your eyes pierced themselves into his green ones. “Let’s get out of here, Ben. Now.”

*

The hotel you were all staying in, and that the wrap party had been held in, was only about a block away. With the night starry and still rather warm, you both decided on walking the short distance. Both of you were trying to walk in a straight line, you being more successful in doing so than Ben, who kept trying to press kisses into the crook of your neck while moving along with you at the same time.

“Ben, stop.” you giggled, not really meaning your words. “We are almost at the hotel. Think you can hold it until then?”

You took a deep breath, just as someone pulled on your hand, unsteadily dragging you into an alleyway behind one of the high buildings that roamed the main street.

In the dark you could barely see Ben’s face that viciously sucked on your neck and jaw, groans escaping his lips as his hips ground into you over and over on their desperate search for friction.

“Ben, we really can’t do this. You are drunk.” you whispered in ecstasy, the alcohol intensifying the feeling of his lips on your collarbones and his hands digging into your thighs.

In a swift motion, his strong arms had lifted you up, your legs now wrapped around his hips, your bare back pressed against the cold brick wall of the building making goose bumps appear all over your body. You were so far gone in pleasure and dizziness, you didn’t even care.

Still grinding into you, you allowed Ben to press an open-mouthed, tongue-heavy kiss onto your mouth as you ran a hand through his hair, tugging aggressively on the strands.

With a deep groan that did things for you, he let his hands slowly roam under your skirt, moving it further up your thighs in the process.

When his teeth dug hardly into your neck, most surely drawing blood, you suddenly snapped out of it from the adrenalin that was caused by the arousing pain shot through your veins.

“Ben, stop. Please.” You tried pushing him away, a hand pressed against his black button-down.

He obeyed immediately, even in his drunken state he would have never pushed you to do anything, and looked at you in surprise.

“Not here.” you whispered again as your fingers interlaced with his and kissed him in a longing and wanting embrace. “Come on.”

You pulled him behind you onto the main street towards the sparkling lights of your hotel in the distance.

The smile on your face probably wouldn’t have been so bright if you had seen the girl with the phone set to record on the other side of the street.

**

“I mean. We didn’t have sex. We kept our clothes on.” Ben stated after you had ordered room service and showered in quietness, a small smirk playing on his face. You both had gotten over the first shock of seeing yourself heavily make-out on camera. All over the fucking internet. You were trending on Twitter worldwide. Any other time this might have been an honor. Now it was just a big fucking problem. Especially with the movie about to premier.

You were seated back in bed, steaming coffee cups in your hands. Anything more than that your upset stomach could not have handled. Ben didn’t feel that way, though, considering the large display of food in front of him. He had ordered what appeared to be the entire breakfast menu.

“Thanks to me.” You rolled your eyes when he winked in response. “So what now?”

“Nothing. People already know we are doing it.” He took a big bite out of his bagel, a satisfied smile playing on his tired, hung-over face.

“Aren’t you tired of pretending?” you dropped the bomb, your fingers playing with the rim of your cup to avoid looking at your boyfriend directly. You had been playing with the thought for a few weeks now, too scared to open up about it as usual, communication not your best skill and all. But you had decided that it would not be so bad. Being Ben’s girlfriend. Officially. You wanted to hold his hand in public and take cute instagram pictures together. And you were almost 78% sure you could handle whatever the media would be throwing at you. You would figure out the other 22% along the way.

You could practically feel his eyes burning themselves into you, his coffee cup at a stop midway to his lips. “You want to go public?”

After a few agonizing seconds of silence, you finally managed to glance up at him, meeting his bright green eyes straight on. “I’m ready if you are.”

He didn’t answer, but the small insecure nod he gave was enough for now.

So this was happening after all.


	12. Chapter 12

“What is this?“ Ben wondered as he walked in on you setting the kitchen table in a rather unconventional way. It was only four in the afternoon, but the two of you had an off day so this was technically socially acceptable.

“It’s a game.” you explained motioning for him to take a seat opposite you. On the wooden desk between you stood a bottle of Tequila and two shot glasses. “There is clearly a lot of tension and we both suck at talking. So we are doing it this way. And no, you can’t get out of this one, Ben.”

He sighed, holding his hands up in defeat and began playing with the cords on his sweatpants that sat way too low on his defined hips. “Fine. What’s the game then?”

You smiled and crooked your nose, patiently waiting for him to finally sit down. “We alternately ask the other a question. You either answer truthfully or drink.”

His eyes scanned you curiously, a hint of nervousness surfacing in his face. “Sounds like a terrible game.” He raised an eyebrow skeptically as he poured himself the first shot, downing it immediately. “One for good luck.” Alright then.

Ever since the video had leaked and you two had had the talk, Ben had been acting all sorts of strange. Not in an obvious way of course, but in a way that drove you absolutely mad. It felt like he was tiptoeing around saying something, not really wanting to say it at the same time. But you heard the egg shells he was walking on cracking, every single one of them. And it had been driving you nuts for a week now. And enough was finally enough.

You took a last deep breath. “Want me to start?”

He nodded waving his hand in an indifferent manner, although his eyes told a very different story.

“You have been acting strange ever since the wrap party. What is up with you, Ben?” You watched him closely, but his body had not moved the slightest.

“It’s nothing.” he replied, by avoiding to meet your eyes you knew all you needed to know. You could read him like a book. You knew. He knew. And he hated it.

“Drink.” you just demanded, waiting for his protest that immediately followed. 

“I answered!”

You groaned. “But not truthfully.” You were definitely going to be here for a while.

“Alright.” he muttered in annoyance as he took another shot. “Whose idea was this game? Bet it was Joe’s.”

You swallowed down a laugh, a smile playing around your lips nonetheless. “Is that what you are wasting your question on?” After he shrugged you continued. “It was Rami’s idea actually. My turn. Is this all because I said I wanted to go public?”

He unscrewed the bottle and was about to pour himself another shot, when he suddenly nodded and put the cap back on. “Yes it is.”

“Why?”

“It’s not your turn yet.” He leaned further back to cross his muscular arms in front of his broad chest and watched you intently. “Why do you want to go public anyway?” Apparently two could play this game.

You studied his piercing green eyes for a few seconds, trying your hardest not to get lost in them. You opened your mouth and attempted to get a word out. That you wanted to hold his hand in public. That you wanted to be his. All the time. That you wanted people to know that he was yours and not free real estate to thirst over. That you wanted all of him. But instead you reached for the Tequila bottle and took a shot. And another for good measure. Ben was ahead of you, emptying his glass with you.

“Why don’t you want to go public?” you asked as it was now your turn to question. You didn’t know if you wanted to hear the answer, but this was important and as much as you hated talking, knowing was something that was a good thing.Normally.

“I never said I didn’t.” he simply stated, this eyes drumming into you as he held your gaze.

“You never said you did either.” you snipped back confidently. The alcohol clearly started working as you did not feel confident in the slightest. You felt vulnerable. And you hated it immensely. 

“Touché.” He smirked and began filling both of your shot glasses with the clear liquid up to the rim and clinked his to yours in style. “Cheers.”

You downed your shot like it was water and beckoned for him to keep playing. “Your turn to ask.”

He took his time, obviously very careful in the wording of his question. He fumbled with his bottom lip as he always did when he was deep in thought and then slightly nodded to himself before opening up. “Would you want to end the relationship if we didn’t go public?”

“If you are asking if I would blackmail you into it, I would not.” you answered truthfully, meeting his eyes so he knew you meant it. Of course you wanted to stop all the secrets, but that did not mean you would not want to be with him anymore if he did not want to. You just wanted a clear statement from his mouth. How was that so difficult? Unless- “Do you really love me, Ben?”

Without missing a beat, a “Yes.” escaped his lips and you smiled at him adoringly as a rose colored blush spread across his cheeks. Damn it. He was irresistible.

“Your turn.” you reminded him, still watching him with way too much love in your heart. Feelings sucked. But they felt so great at the same time.

A smirk played on his lips as he looked you up and down. “Do you want to sleep with me as badly as I want to sleep with you right now?” Apparently the alcohol had also gotten to him, the neediness in his voice a clear sign of it.

You shook your head giggling to yourself. “Later maybe.” You filled your glass up once again and downed the alcohol straight away. You needed the liquid courage for the next question. It was the one that you had been building up towards. The one that had played on your mind for the past days like a stuck record. It was time to know. “Why don’t you want the world to know that you love me?”

He motioned for you to hand the bottle over and took his time drinking the shot, swaying the liquid in his glass like one would do during a wine testing. “If all media said I am cheating on you. Would you believe them or me?”

You swallowed anxiously, your head starting to spin a little. In a sober state you would have probably just taken a shot, but slightly intoxicated the truth escaped almost too easily. “I don’t know.”

He nodded to himself as if he had already known the answer and just needed the confirmation. “Go ahead.” he muttered, his eyes never leaving yours, almost stripping you bare. “Ask.”

“Are you scared?” You shifted nervously under his constant gaze, his green eyes burning patterns into your skin.

“Yes.” he replied in his ocean-deep voice without missing a beat. Why did he have to be so god damn attractive?

“So am I.” You swallowed down the panic rising in your chest and met his eyes once more. “Ask me again. Ask why I want to go public.”

He crossed his arms as he bit his bottom lip. “Why do you want to go public?”

You tried your hardest to hold his stare, proving to yourself and him how important this was to you. You needed him to understand. Your heart sped up as your mind tumbled a mile a second downhill. “I want to hold your hand. I want to show the world that you are mine. And I want to show people that I love you. And call me selfish but I want people to know that you love me, too.”

His next words came out almost bitter and disapprovingly. “Why isn’t it enough that the two of us know?”

Your shook you head slowly as you noticed the tears starting to build up in your eyes. Not right now. Becoming too emotional would just scare him off again. And you were so close to actually finding out what was wrong between the two of you. Doing everything in your power you repressed the tears and took a composed breath. “It just isn’t, Ben.”

“Maybe I am not enough for you then.” he spat out, his previously heat filled eyes now overwhelmed with anger and frustration.

“I didn’t say that.” You didn’t mean for it to come out in a whisper, but it didn’t change the fact that it did. And Ben absolutely took it the wrong way. God you hated this talking thing.

“Well you sure as hell implied it, (Y/N)!” he continued talking himself into a rage, his voice intimidating you more with every word. “Would you be happy if I said I wanted to wait another month, another year?”

“I would respect your decision.” This was not how this was supposed to go. You felt small, vulnerable, and walked all over.

“Yeah, but would you be happy?”

You didn’t answer. You were not sure what to say. You would not be happy, but it would not change the fact that you loved him and wanted to be with him. Why could he not fucking see that? That all you wanted was to be with him. All of him. Through the good and the bad. In private and in public and in every aspect of his life. You were so tired of constantly lying.

“Would you be happy, (Y/N)?” he repeated louder and even angrier, if that was possible at all. You knew it was the Tequila talking in him, but it didn’t matter to you right now.

Something in you snapped at his tone in voice, the alcohol finally catching up to your head. How dare he speak to you that way after you had just stripped your emotions bare for him? “No, I would not. I want a real relationship, Ben. Not this half-assed bullshit.” You quickly pressed a hand to your mouth, your eyes widening in shock. The words had slipped out before you could have stopped yourself. You watched him closely as he calmly stood up, carrying his shot glass to the sink and rinsing it, before walking towards the living room.

“Well, then consider this not-assed at all anymore.” His previously angry tone had switched to a note of defeat and hurt. He practically stormed towards the front door, grabbing his coat and wallet in the process. “I’ll stay at Joe’s for the night.” And then the door fell shut. And you were all by yourself. Surrounded by the mess you had created.

You swayed the remaining Tequila in the bottle as the tears streamed freely down your face. This was not what you had wanted. You had simply wanted to know what was going on in the stupid pretty head of his. Well, apparently you now knew. But it did not make you feel the slightest bit better. It made you feel like throwing up from pain that flooded over you from deep inside.

Might as well finish the game, you thought as you downed the rest of the liquid in one go just to pass out on the couch a few minutes later shivering. You didn’t know who had lost or won. It didn’t matter. It was game over anyway.

**

“You ready to handle it?” Lucy asked with worry ringing in her voice.

“I’m an actress, remember?” You straightened your shoulders and checked your lipstick in the hand mirror again. It had been Lucy’s idea for the guys and girls to arrive at the premier separately and you were thankful for it. You didn’t want to ruin everyone’s night because of your stupid broken heart. At the actual event you could hide from Ben, but not in a crowded limo and you wanted this night to be great for everyone. You all had worked so hard on this movie, you deserved to enjoy the spotlight you were about to receive for it.

You had seen Ben a few times since your fight, however, only ever in passing when he was getting more clothes or other stuff. You had asked him if you were still together and he had answered he doesn’t know. Your question on whether he wanted you to move out of his apartment had met a clear no from his side. It all was a mess and it was even worse that you both sucked so much at communication and solving conflicts. You had absolutely no idea where the two of you stood at this point and it was slowly but surely driving you insane. You should really be working on fixing that. But today was not the day, because today We Are The Champions was premiering and you had to smile through it and be fucking happy, okay? Very happy. Happy. So fucking happy.

You sighed a final time and gave the driver a nod to signal the opening of the door. You exited the car as gracefully as possible in three inch heels and followed Lucy along the red carpet, smiling and waving at screaming fans and yelling paparazzi.

You began signing a few posters and shirts and then walked further down the carpet, an everlasting smile plastered on your face. You just had to get through twenty more minutes. And Ben wasn’t even here yet. This was great. Happy. Happy. Happy.

“(Y/N)!” a reporter exclaimed and you elegantly stepped closer towards her, her microphone immediately extending towards you. “Are you excited for the movie?”

Your smile turned into a genuine one, glad to answer a question that was not directed towards your relationship status that you were not even sure of in this moment. “I am absolutely hyped to see it, yes. I have not seen the final version yet so this is really exciting definitely. I can’t wait.”

“Will we be seeing some action between Ben and you in the movie?” Ah, there it was, of course. “The trailer only told us so much.” she kept pressing, clearly referencing to the kiss scene in the trailer you had shot with Joe and Ben.

You pressed out a forced chuckle and pushed a strand of hair behind your ear. Actress. Acting. Happy. You repeated the mantra over and over in your head. “I guess you will just have to go see it.”

“Where is Ben tonight?”

God, you were so over this. But you were a professional after all. And you definitely could not ruin this night with some sort of fiasco that all the media would focus on forever. “The guys should be arriving soon. We had a bit of a girl’s night beforehand and split up. It was great fun, though!” you ultimately explained truthfully just as another limo pulled up at the end of the carpet and Rami got out. “There they are.”

You heart began beating a million times a second as you spotted Ben’s perfectly styled blond hair. Your stomach was doing all sorts of back flips and you suddenly were happy you had declined dinner before coming here. He looked incredibly handsome in his black smoking, the tailored white button-down clung to his chest in all the right places. God, you just wanted to rip it off of him. But you were not even sure if that was in the cards any longer.

“Well, thank you for talking to me. I hope you have great night.” the reporter concluded and ripped you out of your non PG daydream. “You look absolutely stunning by the way.”

You smiled a thank you and then walked back towards Lucy who stood a few feet to your left taking selfies with fans.

“She is not the only one who thinks that.” she whispered into your ear as she handed you an extra pen. The cheering crowd was thankfully drowning out your conversation. “He can’t take his eyes off of you.”

You glanced towards the boys and sure enough Ben was staring straight at you without a single hint of shame on his face. He was seemingly devouring all of you in your skin tight burgundy velvet dream of a dress. Had you gotten that dress with exactly this look on his face in mind? You might have. You would have never admitted to it, though.

You smiled politely as your eyes met, the crowd of people around you disappearing for a second as you got lost in the ocean of green that glimmered at you. You sent him a small wink. Partly to keep up appearance, partly because you actually enjoyed seeing him. You had missed him ever since he had been staying at Joe’s. You were used to his presence around you and sleeping alone in his bed had felt very wrong and lonely.

Lucy grabbed your hand and the two of you made your way towards the end of the carpet to begin posing for photographers in front of the set up white screen. Together. Individually. The same thing. Different poses. Over and over again.

At some point the guys had finished their reporter and fan walk and started taking pictures as well. 

You professionally transitioned into group pictures, pictures with Roger and Brian, pictures with the producers. Just so many pictures. You know the drill. The flashing lights were starting to hurt your eyes, but they also helped blending out the butterflies and bombs going off inside your chest and stomach. Ben was so close, but yet so far.

You breathed out in relief when the session was over, happy to have survived the annoying part of the night. You were about to walk off and finally inside the building with the others, when a strong hand pulled you backwards, basically dragging you after them.

“Ben what the fuck are you doing?” you hissed into his ear as he came to a halt in front of the white backdrop. You were completely overwhelmed with emotion and confusion. “We are not doing this here.”

He smirked and bit his lip as he raised an eyebrow at you, the cockiness doing weird things to you in combination with the anxiety you felt. “There is no other place for it, believe me.”

He pulled you closer into his side, an arm lovingly reaching out around your waist, his warm hands resting on your hip bones, your skin burning under his touch. “Smile.”

You followed order, hoping it looked at least somewhat real and eyed him curiously from below. “What the hell do you think you are doing?” you repeated again, this time more frustrated than confused. You were well aware that all cameras were set on you at this point, the flashing not stopping for a millisecond. But you could not have cared less in that moment. Ben was messing with your emotions once again and you were absolutely not having it. Not today. Not after the past two weeks. Not like this. Maybe he could pretend that everything was well and fine, but you could not. Not even for the cameras. Not even for a fucking second. Who did he think he was?

“I am doing something I am scared of.” he answered as his hand guided your chin towards his face, forcing you to look at him, his eyes burning hungrily into you. You had been on withdrawal for two weeks after all.

You swallowed in anticipation, unsure of what was happening. Your brain had left the situation a few minutes back and his warm breath on your lips was fogging up your mind. Startled you looked up at him, staring into his eyes and soul. You didn’t know if you had ever seen such vulnerability in them. He hadn’t been lying. Fear was written all over his face before his eyelids fluttered and ultimately closed.

And then it happened. His lips met yours in the most gentle and soft way imaginable as his shaking hands strongly wrapped around your waist, his fingers nervously playing with the material of your dress, clutching it tight as if to keep him grounded. The noise of the crowd erupting was drowned out by your own heart beat radiating through your entire body. This was happening. This was really happening.

“Did you plan on doing this?” you grinned as he let go off you a few seconds later, the two of you still holding onto each other as if your lives were depending on it. The tip of your nose brushed his flushed cheek as the cameras kept clicking away, no doubt shooting the title page picture for tomorrow. You couldn’t have cared less.

You heard his laugh and he pressed another soft kiss to your temple, devouring you with his eyes once again. “I did not. But that dress you are wearing is quite something.”

You cuddled into his side happily and smiled for the cameras, this time it was genuine. You were not sure if you had ever felt this much at once. Your ribcage was about to burst into flames.

“Care to watch a movie?” his deep voice whispered into your ear and send a shiver down your spine. God, you had missed him.

You chuckled at his question, the absurdity of this situation still not fully settled into your head, and motioned for him to lead the way.

Still beaming, he guided you towards the entrance of the hall and in the most natural way interlaced his fingers with yours, finally holding your hand, for the entire world to see.

**

“So.” Ellen grinned and wiggled her eyebrows tellingly with a smirk on her lips. “You and Ben, huh?”

“I guess so.” you laughed as you buried your blushing face in your hands. Reality still had not sunken in fully, but the first week as an official couple had not been as bad as anticipated. The media could not get enough of you after all the previous suspicions and was treating you surprisingly nicely.

“Since when?” Ellen asked, the grin never leaving her face. You loved being on her show. It felt more like catching up with a friend than an annoying interview. You enjoyed being yourself around her. This was your first time officially answering questions about your ‘new’ relationship.

“Well, as you know we were doing stuff.” you began as the crowd cheered loudly and you blushed again, unable to hide the massive smile on your face. “What you don’t know is that we actually became roommates and it just went from there.”

The audience collectively let out an “awww” at your words and you looked at Ellen in confusion. “What?”

Ellen’s grin spread even wider – if that was possible – and she crossed her hands over her heart as she breathed out a sweet and soft sigh. “And they were roommates!”

\- THE END -


	13. Bonus Feature: The Ben&Joe kiss

“Are you ready to go?“ Gwilym asked as he got off the couch, carrying the empty beer bottles from the coffee table in front of them towards the side of the room where the three of them had accumulated a rather large collection of empty bottles over the past few hours.

Ben nodded, getting up as well. He steadied himself on the back of the leather couch, the alcohol crashing down on him in one swift movement. Why did you only ever notice how drunk you really were when you got up? “Yeah, I just need my jacket from the trailer.”

“I’ll come with you.” Joe followed along with him through a hallway and out into the chilly night air. The light breeze helping to sober the both of them up a little bit before reaching Ben’s silver trailer parked outside.

“Honestly, Ben, I never would have thought someone like you could ever become my best friend.” Joe said after Ben had unlocked the door and begun digging through piles of clothes in search for his leather jacket. Why again had he just dumped it to all of Roger’s stage costumes?

“What is that supposed to mean?” Ben questioned, momentarily giving up on his quest to hand his best friend another bottle of beer he had found instead of his jacket.

Accepting it with a grateful nod, Joe opened his beer with a lighter lying on a small wooden cabinet in the corner and continued. “Just – you’re quite young. And very athletic. And handsome. And like normally not the type of friend I am associated with.”

“Aren’t you Mister Eloquent when you get drunk?” Ben joked as he clinked his bottle to Joe’s and took a large first sip.

Joe’s laugh filled the room as he let himself fall down on the sofa, moving a large pile of clothes out of the way in the process. “I’m trying to have a moment with you here, Ben.”

“Right. Sorry, man.”

“And I just think- I think it’s great that we met and that we became friends.” Joe’s eyes had found Ben’s, an honest smile present on his lips.

“Thanks. I think so, too, Joe.” And Ben meant it. He had friends, many of them. But he had never felt this comfortable and this much like himself with any of them before. Maybe it was the age difference, or that they were living on different continents, but something had just clicked the first second they had ever shaken hands on set. And Ben was very thankful for that moment.

Silence settled between them as they both sipped on their beers, both sunken in thoughts about everything and nothing.

It was Ben that interrupted the comfortable silence a few minutes later, with a mission to make his friend uncomfortable as usual. The alcohol only cheering him on. “So you think I’m handsome, hm?”

Joe laughed again and hic-upped, the many bottles of beer seemingly also getting to his head. “Oh shut up. You know you are like one the most beautiful fucking people out there, Ben.”

Ben gulped down another sip before he nodded, a smirk playing on his lips. “Yeah, I do.”

“Wow, cocky much?” Joe had raised a questioning eye brow, while he looked around the room, finally settling on a lamp that weirdly looked like a frog. Typically Ben.

“You don’t know anything about my cock!” Okay, maybe Ben was a little bit drunk, and maybe this was taking their usual banter a bit too far, but he just wasn’t able to stop himself.

“Believe me when I say, Ben, that I also don’t want to.”

Ben puffed out a stream of air before he seated himself next to Joe on the small couch. “Well, you are missing out.”

“Gladly.”

Another comfortable silence settled between them. That’s how you know you really like someone. When the silence is comfortable.

“You know you are handsome, too, right?” Ben finally said in an almost whisper, the walls suddenly appearing closer than they did before. Wow, he really was getting to his limit of drunk.

“Don’t go all sappy on me now.” Joe grinned as he ran a hand through his short brown hair. Ben laughed internally as he remembered the perm drama from two months ago. “I appreciate it though.”

Ben just nodded, opening his mouth without thinking much. “You know, I am more of a sub myself so-“

“God, I forgot drunk you does not have a filter, man.” Joe interrupted him, a hand boxing against Ben’s muscular side in a playful manner.

“All I am saying is, I can admit beauty when I see it.” Ben stated, his voice slightly slurred. Yup, he was officially drunk. To that he had another sip of beer.

“Thank you, Ben.” Joe smiled again, clinking his bottle against Ben’s. “If you were a girl I’d kiss you now.”

Ben suddenly turned towards his friend, a thought springing to his mind. Was it inappropriate? Maybe. But he was drunk and didn’t really care much. “Have you ever kissed a guy, Joe?” Where was he even going with this?

Joe did not seem at all surprised at his question. They did not really have any secrets and this just hadn’t been something that had come up during their endless nights of talking yet. “I have not in fact. Have you?”

Ben nodded, maybe a bit too eagerly, he wasn’t sure, everything kind of blurred together at this point. “Few times. Never anything more than that. Just for fun. Always drunk.” Wow. No filter. Seriously though.

“Good for you, man. I’m not really that into it.”

“Nothing wrong with that.” Ben shrugged, a smirk present on his face. Somebody needed to fucking stop him right now. “You’re thinking about it now, aren’t you?”

“I am not.” Joe answered, maybe a bit too fast and slightly too high.

“Of course you are not.”

“I really am not.”

“I know you are not.”

Another silence, however, this time slightly tensed and uncomfortable. Although Ben wasn’t sure if he was the only one feeling it. If his intention had been to make things awkward, he had succeeded in doing so.

Ultimately, Joe groaned, a hand running through his hair. “Okay, fine. I am thinking about it.”

Ben laughed knowingly as he bit his bottom lip to stop himself from whatever his mind had come up with now. “What about it?”

Joe appeared to be deep in thought as he emptied another good bit of his beer. “Just how it would be different, I guess?”

“Not that different, really.” Ben began talking, no filter present. “I mean the stubble is interesting, and that the other person isn’t like as weak just generally a bit rougher. Doesn’t feel bad though. Kind of exciting really.”

“Ben-” Joe tried interrupting his friend. No luck, though.

“Hey, all I am saying is that it’s not that big of a deal and-“

“Ben-“ he tried again, not the least bit more successful.

“And that it wouldn’t be something bad if you wanted to try it.”

That was enough for Joe. “Ben I thought you were more of a sub yourself, so do yourself a favor and shut up.” he burst out, shocked by his own words.

Ben’s eyes widened in surprise and he closed his mouth to swallow down something that had risen up in him. Not a good thing. Joe’s commanding voice had sent a weird rush through his body. A rush that went straight to his dick.

He didn’t even think when he leaned closer towards Joe, not as much as to suggest anything, but not as little as to reject. He glanced down towards Joe’s lips, then back up towards his questioning eyes. Ben was well aware that everything that followed was his fault alone, but he never would have admitted to that. He could honestly say he had never thought about Joe in such a way and maybe he was still trying to make him uncomfortable. Or maybe he was just an incredibly needy drunk and Joe was right there. It was probably a combination of both.

He was just as surprised as Joe, when suddenly mere inches separated their faces. The air in the small trailer seemed to have heated up a significant amount.

Joe swallowed before placing his empty beer bottle on the ground next to him, his eyes never leaving Ben’s as he whispered “Once. We pretend it never happened. I just wanna know. And I trust you with this, because you are my best friend.”

Ben couldn’t do much but nod as he allowed Joe to press the lightest of kisses to his lips. Not daring to move, he simply waited for his friend to react.

“So that was…nice.” Joe stated as he leaned back, a red flush spread along his forehead and cheeks.

“U-huh.” Ben mumbled, warily questioning if Joe was okay. Somehow that one tiny kiss had sobered him up very fast.

Neither of them daring to move, they just stared at each other in the dimly lit trailer, heat and tension radiating through them.

Ben wasn’t sure if it was him or Joe, but next thing he knew, his lips were once again firmly pressed against that of his best friend, this time more daring, wanting. He carefully dug his hands into Joe’s hair, tugging slightly at a few strands, grinning at the moan that escaped his lips.

“Fucking hell.” Joe groaned as he slipped his tongue into Ben’s mouth, almost teasingly sliding it along Ben’s bottom lip.

Ben didn’t care anymore. It could have been anyone next to him in that moment. He was drunk and needy and this was a fucking great kiss.

Willingly, he pulled Joe closer, his brain foggy from beer and pleasure, until he was straddling him on the couch, their lips never separating.

In response, Joe started slowly grinding his hips against Ben’s making him moan out of pure frustration. Why did he always get so needy? Would he regret this the next day? Most definitely. But right now he couldn’t have cared less.

Hungrily he kissed down Joe’s neck, placing a teasing bite in the crook of his collar bone, before placing his lips back onto the others, joining them in another heated kiss.

Joe’s hands instinctively found Ben’s waistline and were about to dug into it, when the door opened with a loud squeak.

“Hey, are you guys ready. You have been in here fore- Holy shit!!” Gwilym stopped in his tracks as he watched Joe hastily jump off Ben, almost knocking over a dresser in the process.

“I swear I can explain.”, he began, panic rising in his voice. “It’s all Ben’s fault.”

Ben watched him curiously; too blurry and foggy to really comprehend what was happening yet. And he also didn’t mind as much. It had been fun, but it had also not meant anything. And he was pretty sure that they both were well aware of that. Nevertheless he agreed to it being super weird right now.

“Are you…you know…like friends with benefits or something?” Gwilym questioned as he tried wrapping his mind around what he had just witnessed, his face still in shock.

“Nope. That was the first and only time.” Ben involved himself in the conversation, a laugh playing on his lips. “We are just drunk. Sorry you had to see that, man.”

“Alright.” Gwilym began as faced the door again. “I will go outside and come back in. And we pretend this never happened. Yea?”

Ben and Joe nodded in unison as their friend closed the door behind himself and opened it a second later.

“Are you ready to go?”

“Absolutely.” Ben smiled and stood up, finally spotting his leather jacket under a nearby chair.

As Joe got up, a last spurt of weirdness came smashing down on Ben and before he could stop himself, he had grabbed his best friend’s wrist and pulled him backwards, his lips crashing down on Joe’s one last time. “One for the road.” Ben winked as he practically pushed a startled Joe out the door to close it, locking everything that had just happened behind him.


End file.
